Maturity is the ability to think, speak and act your feelings within the bounds of dignity. The measure of your maturity is how spiritual you become during the midst of your frustrations.~ Samuel Ullman
I thought about maturity after sending feedback to someone at work over a situation in which I was frustrated. Others gave feedback as to their situations. The person receiving the feedback sat down with me and said, “This was the most mature response I received.” He said it was well thought out and very well expressed.
Okay, I’m older by many years than the others but I am, by far, the most frustrated by the situation. My frustration came through but I tried to speak in “I” language (see the healthy communications posts) and not blame anyone for anything.
It took a lot for me to sit down and craft the response that I did. As I talked about in the last post about changing the dance, it’s about sitting back and thinking and re-thinking and re-thinking it again before RESPONDING and not reacting.
The person I had spoken with today had sent me an email over the weekend that told me that he did not understand my frustration. I almost imploded and/or exploded in email but waited a couple of hours to respond. When I did I put my frustration in check and took one for the team. By Monday he realized he had missed the boat and today we were able to sit down and talk.
I had wanted to “ go off ” last week and then again over the weekend. Both times I waited. Both times I stepped back and took a breathe and complained to friends and husband and went blah blah blah at anyone who would listen.
As a result of my patience, I was heard and the outcome is very very favorable to me.
Next time you want to “ go off ” stop and think. Stop and listen. Stop and talk to someone about your frustration. If you have something to lose by going off (as I did here), try to avoid it.
Count to three, then count to three again.
Personal dignity in the face of frustration is a hallmark of maturity and will carry you far.