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Married and Cheating: Two Can Play That Game

Posted Jul 03 2008 4:12pm

After months of self denial, you have finally accepted the reality. Friends who cared about you tried to warn you but you dismissed them as nothing more than busybodies whose relationships was so suspect that they had nothing better to do with their "miserable" lives than interfere in your relationship.

It happens. Sometimes people who are supposed to have your best interest at heart love to stir up trouble. But that's not all there was too it. You heard the discrepancies in a number of things your significant other told you but just chalked to up to a faulty memory. Unfortunately it didn't stop there. Unexplained changes in habits like new clothes, or hairstyle began to appear in addition to them going out by themselves a little more.

You tried to give them the benefit of the doubt even though your instincts were ringing like a fire alarm. But when the unexplained credit card charges and suspicious phone calls started happening you knew something was going on. After a little investigative work, your suspicions were confirmed. Your spouse is having an extramarital affair.

Clinical psychologist Janis Abrahms Spring the author of "After the Affair" estimates marital infidelity affects one out of every 2.7 couples. While 50% of extramarital affairs last less than one month that comes as no comfort to anyone, particularly when the odds of a cheating spouse stopping after just one affair are slim.

There are really no good choices when you find out your significant other is cheating but one possibility has to be classified as the nuclear option. No it's not ending the relationship altogether but the other one that says what's good for the goose is more than okay for the gander. Go out and have an affair of your own.

You may have seen this scenario played out on numerous television shows over the years, where one partner suspects the other so they go out and find someone to have a liaison of their own. In the end it was all one big misunderstanding and they wind up living happily ever after.

In real life? Not so much. You may do it in the hopes that your significant other finds out and it jolts them back to reality. Most times it does not. Call it ego or a glaring blind spot but a cheating spouse can become amazingly jealous when they find out their other half is also out fooling around.

Or maybe you just so angry that you don't care. As far as you're concerned they are the ones that damaged the relationship not you. If they want to go out and have enjoyment at your expense then two can play that game. Let the chips fall where they may and if the marriage ends so be it as long as you can have some fun and hurt them just as much as they have hurt you.

It's understandable to want to get back at someone that has thrown away the love and commitment you have given them. But revenge is rarely worth it. Two wrongs do not make a right. While there are no good choices when it comes to a cheating spouse fooling around to get back at your significant other is definitely the worst choice. It is better to get out of the relationship than to stick around and pour more gasoline onto the fire.

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Article written by Daryl Campbell -The Relationship Tip – What are the worst mistakes people make when they think they'rebeing cheated on?

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