Ferris and Holly had entered marriage counseling 3 years after having their first baby. Both were in agreement regarding the ways they wanted to raise their little girl at first. It wasn’t until years into the growth of the child that they started to encounter problems.
According to Holly:
Ferris is into this “let her do what she wants” thing…and I’m not. I think its really important, especially now, that she gets a real sense of boundaries. Ferris thinks that I’m being too much of a hardliner. He also thinks I’m discouraging her creativity - that if I didn’t say “no” so much, she’d feel more free to explore. I’m tired of going head to head with him every day about this. We need some direction ourselves. We need some boundaries, ironically enough!
The couples counselor explained to Holly and Ferris the development of a child and what was required at this particular stage. He explained that it takes patience to develop certain limits when necessary and independence when it’s possible. Each decision would have to be looked at individually - no broad stroke rule could apply.
Both Ferris and Holly learned through counseling that raising their child is a constant and unfolding balancing act of avoiding confrontations when possible and insisting on doing things their way when necessary. Ultimately, both parents want to offer the child as many choices as possible. Both needed to be reminded that this drive toward independence is an important stage of emotional development. When Ferris and Holly learned more about the developmental stage of their child, it was easier to come up with compromises that would work for their child as well as themselves.
Ferris and Holly had entered marriage counseling 3 years after having their first baby. Both were in agreement regarding the ways they wanted to raise their little girl at first. It wasn’t until years into the growth of the child that they started to encounter problems.
According to Holly:
The couples counselor explained to Holly and Ferris the development of a child and what was required at this particular stage. He explained that it takes patience to develop certain limits when necessary and independence when it’s possible. Each decision would have to be looked at individually - no broad stroke rule could apply.
Both Ferris and Holly learned through counseling that raising their child is a constant and unfolding balancing act of avoiding confrontations when possible and insisting on doing things their way when necessary. Ultimately, both parents want to offer the child as many choices as possible. Both needed to be reminded that this drive toward independence is an important stage of emotional development. When Ferris and Holly learned more about the developmental stage of their child, it was easier to come up with compromises that would work for their child as well as themselves.