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Lifestyle Design in Marriage

Posted Oct 16 2008 12:16am

Sometimes another person has an idea so good that you just have to evangelize it a little bit.  Corey from the Simple Marriage Project wrote two great posts (links at the bottom of this post) recently about where Lifestyle Design and Marriage intersect.

For those of you unfamiliar with the buzzword Lifestyle Design, it’s a term popularized by Tim Ferriss’ best selling book, The Four Hour Work Week.  The term denotes taking control of your life and living deliberately.  Not in some vague, new age, hippy, indefinable way, but instead taking concrete steps (little ones) each day to work towards a definable, measurable goal.

Much has been written on goals, and I am a goal setter myself, but what amuses me is hearing so many young men (and women) talking about wanting to hit certain goals before they get married.  A person might want to pay off their student loans, travel the world, have adventures, live a little…all before they get married.

This attitude is lacking one fundamental concept: the real adventures in life begin after you get married.  How many people have you heard talk about how much they grew, how much they changed, how much of a better person their spouse made them?  The real adventures in life are the adventures of the soul, the travels and travails of parenthood, and making that journey with the one you are formally devoted to.  There’s something about that formal commitment that joins two people together in a way that is unable to be imitated, and no other form of cooperation can compare to a focused married couple acting as one.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not advocating everyone go out and get married as early as possible.  I was married at 21 and that was a little bit tough.  You know what, though?  It was worth every moment of it.  I would do it again.

It took us a couple of years, but my wife and I discovered a way to help make sure that we were always on the same page.  I’ve talked about it here before, and I’m going to take you all on the journey again, starting with my next post.  What is it?  I’ll give you a hint: it has to do with Lifestyle Design.

In the meantime, check out Corey’s posts LifeStyle Design for Married People and Passionate Life to A More Passionate Marriage

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