It’s that time of the month again! And the first of the new year!
No contact (NC) is truly the key to moving on. It’s a big, important topic which is why it’s the first chapter in the book.
Even if you work with, have children with, mutual friends with, NC is possible in that you only speak when you have to, you don’t get into emotional issues, everything is very business like. If you don’t share anything like that, going NC is very important: CUT OFF ALL CONTACT. And NC includes passive contact like looking at his or her Facebook page or allowing friends or family to tell you what the ex is doing. Set those boundaries and tell the world you DO NOT want to hear it.
Anyway, long before the book came out we gave NC chips for staying NC for various lengths of time (as they do in 12-step programs). We also talk about issues and struggles for those not NC a long time. We have 24 hour chips which means for this 24 hours you will commit to NC!
I notice a lot of you have struggled and slipped into the “Breaking NC” pool of sludge. If you break NC or respond to your NC-breaking bananahead ex, you don’t “go back to square one.” You have had progress along the way and it’s easier once you’ve done it a while to do it again. So shower and get right back to NC. And tell us what you’ve learned Dorothy.
How did the holidays impact (or not impact) your NC progress. What thoughts, questions, concerns, struggles are holiday related?
So leave your concerns, issues, questions, stories here and
Come get your chips!!!
24 hours: white
30 days: yellow
60 days: green
90 days: blue
6 months: purple
9 months: red
1 year or more: GOLD
Pick up your chip! Tell us what chip you get and how you did it. Share your NC power of example! Talk about how long you’ve been NC and what it’s been like for you.
I would also suggest, in the way of being good to you, to BUY yourself an actual chip, a real chip and keep it on your dresser/bureau or some other prominent place as a reminder of how WELL you are doing. Standard poker chips are fine but the gold ones can be a nice round gold piece from a jewelry store or buy a chain with a nice round gold pendant. If you’ve been a NC you definitely deserve something nice. Make your symbol REAL and not just virtual!
If you’re struggling with NC, talk about your biggest challenges to NC and what is standing in your way and if you need help/support.