It's been awhile since I've perused blogs I'm unfamiliar with. These last few days I've been playing, reading more than I have in a long time, listening in on topics different than the ones I'm used to. I found a number of new blogs and am particularly curious about one about escorts and their private love relationships. It's called
"Working Hearts."
I'm tired of The Wounded Escort archetype: someone who can't have a "normal" relationship because of her job choice.
Many of the escorts I've met, read in blogland, articles and books or heard/watched interviewed seem pretty self aware. I think they have to be to stay healthy.
Of course, in that self awareness, we question ourselves. It's the nature of the game. Why, when we are strong enough to be honest about them, do our relationship issues somehow carry more weight than other women's? (oh yeah...she's been
an escort, of
course she doesn't know how to be intimate; of
course she can't commit; of
course she is always in ruinous relationships).
Yes, of
course, we have issues. Who the heckibeck doesn't? The vast majority of women and men in dysfunctional relationships (ahem...the majority of relationships) have never considered, much less done, actual whoring. So...what exactly makes us different?
All kinds of people (not just whores) have sex for all sorts of reasons that have nothing to do with the heart. Just because one has had sex with lots of people or gotten paid for sex, doesn't mean they can't or don't open their heart to one or some. And it doesn't mean our hearts necessarily open in a different way than nonwhores or sluts. We care, we love, our hearts bleed, too. They do.
Yes, it could be that the work shifts how we see and function in relationship. We are all shaped over time as we respond to different relationships and their outcomes no matter what we've done with our sexuality and our job choice. I would think a self aware whore would be in a great position to be a great partner because she knows what love isn't.
I like lots of people. I care deeply for a few. I invite very few into my heart. But when I do identify those I feel something stronger for, I tend to feel quite passionate about them. My heart is my heart and it runs deep. Just because I fuck you doesn't mean you hold that place in my heart. Just as sometimes, you may hold that place and we may not yet be sexual lovers.
I don't understand how anyone would question someone's capacity to love just because of a job choice, use labels such as whore or polyamorous to support a notion of a heart incapable of "true" love. Nor do I understand rejection of a woman who opens her heart just because she's been a whore. It's so funny to me how we decide who people
are, because we see them as "other."
I'm tired of The Wounded Escort archetype: someone who can't have a "normal" relationship because of her job choice.
Many of the escorts I've met, read in blogland, articles and books or heard/watched interviewed seem pretty self aware. I think they have to be to stay healthy.
Of course, in that self awareness, we question ourselves. It's the nature of the game. Why, when we are strong enough to be honest about them, do our relationship issues somehow carry more weight than other women's? (oh yeah...she's been an escort, of course she doesn't know how to be intimate; of course she can't commit; of course she is always in ruinous relationships).
Yes, of course, we have issues. Who the heckibeck doesn't? The vast majority of women and men in dysfunctional relationships (ahem...the majority of relationships) have never considered, much less done, actual whoring. So...what exactly makes us different?
All kinds of people (not just whores) have sex for all sorts of reasons that have nothing to do with the heart. Just because one has had sex with lots of people or gotten paid for sex, doesn't mean they can't or don't open their heart to one or some. And it doesn't mean our hearts necessarily open in a different way than nonwhores or sluts. We care, we love, our hearts bleed, too. They do.
Yes, it could be that the work shifts how we see and function in relationship. We are all shaped over time as we respond to different relationships and their outcomes no matter what we've done with our sexuality and our job choice. I would think a self aware whore would be in a great position to be a great partner because she knows what love isn't.
I like lots of people. I care deeply for a few. I invite very few into my heart. But when I do identify those I feel something stronger for, I tend to feel quite passionate about them. My heart is my heart and it runs deep. Just because I fuck you doesn't mean you hold that place in my heart. Just as sometimes, you may hold that place and we may not yet be sexual lovers.
I don't understand how anyone would question someone's capacity to love just because of a job choice, use labels such as whore or polyamorous to support a notion of a heart incapable of "true" love. Nor do I understand rejection of a woman who opens her heart just because she's been a whore. It's so funny to me how we decide who people are, because we see them as "other."