When you start your goal setting, start with your journal, take two weeks of observation. You’re going to be observing your self-talk and situations that are difficult and/or emotional for you.
You are also going to think about your goals, what you want out of life, you are going to set a goal, make it realistic, visualize it, affirm it. Be it.
You are also going to begin to observe the things that keep you from reaching it, outwardly and inwardly and you are going to continue that observation as you work on your goals. Goal setting works best when you have long-term goals and short-term goals in different areas.
Of course you’re not going to have goals in all these areas but you want to choose enough different ones to sustain your interest. Some examples of goal areas:
• Family, home, relationships • Humanist, volunteer, philanthropy, spiritual, ethical • Social, cultural, travel, entertainment • Finances, career, education • Physical, diet, exercise • Fun goals: learning a new sport, taking a recreational class (ie painting, photography, web design), taking up a new hobby (gardening, collecting). Preparation • Think about different goals you would like to set for yourself in each area. • Write down different goals in each category. • Think about it for a few days. • As you think about it, use your journal to figure out which ones are important and which ones are not important.
• You want to have 5 to 7 goals by the end of the week. • You want to have some big goals and some smaller goals, some long-term goals and some short-term goals. • You want to have some that are fairly easy to meet and some that are not so easy. • You want to have some that are serious and at least one that is fun.
When you have decided upon your 5-7 goals:
1. Write them out and decide which one you want to work with first. It might be intuitive how to work with a short term goal or a fun goal. For example, suppose you’ve always wanted to take a painting class. You can write that as a goal,
2. Research where you can take classes in your area, figure out how much it costs and when registration starts.
3. Visualize yourself taking this class and enjoying it.
4. Affirm that you will take the class and succeed. Realistically, you can have this all figured out in a day. And it’s good to have a goal like that that you can start on first thing. Try to have one that you’re REALLY interested in that won’t take much work to figure out.
Make sure you add this to your list of affirmations.
In order to motivate yourself to achieve any goal, you have to have realistic goals, not too easy, not too hard, you have to affirm those goals continuously, and you have to examine why you have not met this goal before or why this has been an issue in your life.
Once you’ve done your observation and preparation, then you need to cultivate. You need to affirm your goals every day, revisit your goals periodically and continue to define them and make them your own.
Like affirmations, setting goals has to begin with a positive statement.
It has to be very precise.
You have to set your priorities and ask, “What do I need to do to get there?”
You also have to take a look at what might prevent you from getting there. This isn’t about being NEGATIVE or projecting onto others, but about BEING PREPARED.
Being prepared is about not being surprised by the same old thing. There are nay-sayers and negative people in everyone’s life. People who knock you down before you get started, people who are passive aggressive, people who undermine you even though they think they have the best intentions. Don’t go to them with your hopes and plans and dreams. They weren’t supporting you before and they’re not supporting you now.
You’ll need to SET BOUNDARIES with them to let them know you are doing other things. They will CHALLENGE you on it, you have to be ready for the “Get back where you belong” messages. You might have a goal to save money and you suddenly become very vigilant about spending money. You turn down an invitation to the movies because it’s not in your new budget. People get upset about this. They say you can save money next week, this is a GREAT movie! You used to be so much fun! What happened to you???
You will have to be ready for somebody to be angry with you. And you have to remember to speak in “I” sentences and say what you mean without being mean while being true to yourself and your goals.
For each goal, journal about it, think about it. Do your research. Observation, preparation, cultivation. Being methodical about your goals is the way to do it and get it set.
Don’t have so many goals that you are quickly overwhelmed and can’t do any of them.
Remember to recognize that when you are making progress in one area, you want to look at incorporating some new goals into your life. You might want to make a list as to how that is going to happen.
For example: as soon as I save $500, I can look into joining a gym and getting started on my physical goal. Or: as soon as I make supervisor on my job, I’m going to start saving for a vacation in Hawaii . Learn to make starting a goal dependent on reaching another goal. ALWAYS have things to look forward to.
If you backslide or have trouble, KEEP GOING. Don’t berate yourself, don’t GET BACK WHERE YOU BELONG. Keep going to new different better more.