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Improve your sex life

Posted by Be Well

Fancy finding out how to fine-tune your orgasm ability? Want to boost your bedroom antics with some new toys? Need some advice on condoms and contraception?

Well, don't sweat it - we've got loads of top tips on having a healthy happy sex life. So read on to whip your sexual self into shape and increase your pleasure.


Orgasms are different for everyone. Some describe a tingle where other, luckier people feel explosions.

Remember - only barrier methods of contraception like the male condom can protect you from STDs

For some of us, orgasms are pretty rare - you might find it difficult to reach orgasm through intercourse alone, or never experience it. Don't let your sex life be an anti-climax. Follow these simple sensation tips and you might just get there...

First, spend some time on yourself to learn what gets you going, then the next time you have sex you can share your new skills with your partner .

Ensure you're relaxed, rested and take long, deep breaths to get oxygen to those tensing muscles. Never wait for it to happen - if you focus all your energies on trying to have an orgasm, chances are, you'll be waiting a long time.

Remember, orgasms shouldn't be what sex is all about. Sure, they're fun - but love and intimacy are much more important.


We crunch to strengthen our abs and lift weights to build muscle. So why not exercise your pelvic floor muscles to get your sexual anatomy in shape too?

If you're unaware of your pelvic floor muscles, the easiest way to find them is by stopping and starting your urine flow the next time you go to the toilet.

Exercise your pelvic floor muscles regularly and you'll improve blood flow to the genitals, aid sexual arousal and make orgasms more intense, frequent and longer.

Best of all, you can do pelvic floor exercises anywhere, anytime - even while sat at your desk or waiting at traffic lights!

Try to do one set of 10-20 squeezes three times daily, gradually increasing the number of repetitions and holding for longer.

It may take over a month before you start to feel the benefits - but it will be well worth the wait and effort!

Aural sex

It's good to talk - so listen up... Unless your partner is a mind reader, you're going to have to start talking!

Communication is key when it comes to good sex, so tell them what you'd like to try and let them know when they've hit the spot. Stay mute and your sex life will never reach its full potential.

If you're not comfortable yet, start with sighs and moans to let your partner know they're doing something right.

Be open and receptive. The more you chat, the more relaxed and comfortable you'll be together. If you're nervous, try to bring up the subject outside of the bedroom.


Until quite recently, masturbation was treated as taboo, when in fact it's always been perfectly normal and more common than you might think.

You can visit your local family planning clinic, doctor or nurse practitioner for free contraception, information and advice

Masturbation can be useful when it comes to exploring your body, finding out what turns you on and making your sex life as satisfying as possible.

For men, 'going solo' is a great means of controlling orgasm - ideal if you've found yourself coming too soon - while women who have had difficulty reaching orgasm in the past swear by it!

Mutual masturbation can also be a fun and safe alternative to sex, and a great way to learn about each other's bodies.

If masturbation doesn't come naturally to you - and for many people it doesn't - set aside a bit of 'me time'. Create the atmosphere, breathe deeply, relax, and just go with it.

Then, take the time to learn what you enjoy and enjoy showing your partner what you've learnt.

Using sex toys

Sex toys are a safe and exciting way to enhance the fun, trust and intimacy in your relationship.

But if you fancy playing with some adult toys, you might worry about how to bring it up. Do so with sensitivity, making it clear to your partner that you want to try it as a couple, and not as a substitute for sex.

Simply shopping for sex toys together can be a turn on. Just don't pick anything too 'intimidating' on your first go - you can always build up to it later. There's a huge array of toys on the market so if your first choice isn't for you, try again.

But be warned - sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) can be passed through sex toys that aren't properly cleaned. Don't forget to clean them between uses on different parts of the body too!

Safety first

Never let your partner pressure you into doing something you don't want to, especially where sex is concerned. If your partner respects you, they will respect your decision.

If you want to avoid pregnancy, contraception is essential. And remember - only barrier methods of contraception like the male condom can protect you from STDs.

It is also possible to get some STDs without having full sex. Some infections can be passed on through oral sex, for example. So, it's always a good plan for you and your partner to be tested for any STDs before starting a new sexual relationship together.

Getting advice

You can visit your local family planning clinic, doctor or nurse practitioner for free contraception, information and advice.

Or book a confidential appointment at your local STD clinic to service your sexual health - regular check-ups are a good idea.

Comments (2)
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Thanks Be Well. Such a useful info....
Thanks for the tips. I hope will have a better sex life after executing the tips.
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