I wrote this post last year and recently received an email from a friend that reminded me of it.
There is more to us than we know. If we can be made to see it, perhaps for the rest of our lives we will be unwilling to settle for less. ~ Kurt Hahn
When we discover who we are and all the riches we contain (or as Walt Whitman said, the multiples we contain) we understand the depth of our goodness and we refuse to settle for less than we deserve.
The way OUT of garbage and INTO goodness is to recognize our own self-worth, to affirm that we are good and deserve good things and to treat ourselves with dignity and respect. When we treat ourselves with dignity and respect, we become used to that, that is what we start to know and anything else feels uncomfortable.
Therefore, once we treat ourselves right we learn to insist that others treat us right as well.
One of the best reasons to spend time with ourselves is learning about us, what we like what we don’t like, who we are and what makes us happy, sad, annoyed, angry, lonely, upset.
Only when we know what our needs and wants are and how they are different can we ask another to meet our needs and occasionally meet our wants. When we don’t know, when we are confused, we attract other confused people and our combined confusion butts heads.
Two people who do not what they want spend a lot of time blaming the each other for their inherent emptiness.
When we learn to fill ourselves up, we not only become less dependent on others to fulfill us, but we attract more filled up people who demand less from us.
When we know and accept ourselves, we meet others who know and accept themselves and we can accept each other.
When two fulfilled and self-reliant people meet and fall in love, unmet needs and those struggles to get from someone else what they do not have to give, cease to be our reality any more.
When we are able to clearly and plainly state what we do and do not want, what we do and do not need, what we can and cannot accept, the game-playing, the boundary violaters and the confused bunch all disappear from our lives.
Spend time with you. Learn about you. Journal, go for a walk, spend time time sitting alone without a phone, a computer, an iPod or any outside distraction. Do this on a regular basis. Learn to tune into the inner voice which will tell you what you want and what you need. It will tell you how to fulfill yourself and how to ask for things from others. Learn about you. And then love you. Do your affirmations as GPYP teaches. Monitor your self-talk as GPYP teaches. Set your goals and put your dreams in place.
And then NEVER NEVER NEVER settle for less again. Not from you or anyone else.