You were violated by another human.  Your reaction is natural.  Many who have been sexually violated shrink from human touch.  There is great shame and guilt on the part of many who relive the circumstances trying to determine how they might have better helped themself.

I urge you to share your story iwth someone.  Preferably, you will find a properly certfied professional who can help facilitate your healing emotionally, spiritually.  If you haven't, I also urge you to contact the authorities.  You may be frightened or unsure whether others will believe you.  Please consider that the person who raped you may have targetted others.  Going on record with your account may give authorities a means to stop them or more successfully prosecute.

Don't surrender the quality of your life to someone who didn't even understand how special you are.

I agree that your reaction was normal at the time and telling your story (especially to a caring professional) will help you heal and move on with your life.

However, your question was cut off after "now"— please write again and let us know the rest. What do you need now?