How to Regain Trust in a Relationship - 3 Simple Steps for Rebuilding the Trust After Infidelity
Posted Feb 23 2011 9:41am
You have a hard time believing anything he says. Why would you? He cheated and lied to you, so how do you know he is not lying again?
Discovering how to regain trust in a relationship is a critical part of surviving an affair and saving your marriage after an affair. Here you will find a few simple steps to help you regain the trust fast get rid of these endless disturbing thoughts.
I can't believe how easily he could lie to me", "I can't believe I fell for his lies", "How could I not notice he's lying?", "I feel so betrayed, my self esteem is gone and I am suspicious of everything and everyone".
Can you relate to these feelings? You are not alone, and you should never blame yourself! Even professionals like law enforcement officials can't always tell when someone is lying. You may really want to trust him again, but it's a working process and it won't happen in a day.
How to Know Your Spouse Isn't Lying Again
As the injured spouse, you probably want to make sure that the affair has really ended and you want proof that he is not lying to you anymore. One solution, that is more popular than you can imagine, is taking him to a polygraph test. Most polygraph tests are said to have a 60-70% success rate, and the money is well worth it - If you can regain trust and get back your peace of mind. Many times the cheater will try to avoid the test and spill his guts about all the details that wanted to know.
3 Simple Steps for Regaining the Trust in a Relationship
To rebuild a "damaged" relationship that has been torn by lies, you need to create a new foundation of trust, one step and one brick at a time. Knowing for sure if your partner is lying in 100% accuracy could be a waste of your time and energy. What you need is more than that. You need to know that your spouse is not only regretting cheating, but able to actually change in character. Here are 3 steps you should take:
Step #1 - Define the Triggers
Think about your past week or past month. Think of all the things that triggered you to mistrusting your spouse. Is him coming home late without calling is a trigger? Is him not answering the phone a trigger? You can even write them down.
Step #2 - Let Him Know the Triggers
Become more transparent and let him know what makes you feel you are being lied to again. Ask him to call and explain if he's going to be late. Remind him that you are trying to regain the trust in your relationship and you are not just trying to check up on him and bother him.
Step #3 - Remove a Trigger
When your partner becomes more and more transparent, you can actively remove one trigger at a time. You will suddenly see that the triggers are fading away and you can cross out one trigger after another. If your spouse doesn't always cooperate, remind him that it his loving gift to you on the way to rebuilding the trust and the foundation of your relationship.
These are not the only steps you should take to finding the trust again. There are very specific exercises that teach you how to regain trust and save your marriage after an affair.
If you've been hurt by a spouse who has cheated on you, Dr. Frank Gunzburg's FREE e-mail course is the first place to start. Click Here to find out how to survive an affair - Right now!
If you want to discover exactly what you need to do and say to save your marriage after an affair - go to http://how-to-save-marriage.org right now - and start saving your marriage today!