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How to get what you want from your valentine

Posted Feb 09 2013 6:41pm

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Do you have a fantasy about what you want from your valentine?

Would you like action in the form of receiving gifts and treats at a fancy restaurant?

Or would you prefer a few genuine and sincere words that touch your heart and make you feel special, loved and treasured?

Do you care more about spending time with your valentine or is it more important that your loved one spends a lot of money and spoils you rotten?

What matters to you most?

Having your loved one share themselves with you in an emotionally intimate way

OR

Big gestures of proof that they love you and are committed to you by planning the day to your liking and giving you the best that money can buy?


Okay – so that you have figured out what you really want from your valentine imagine how you are going to feel if you get something else?

What if you want the weekend away in Hawaii and you get a cozy intimate night in with your favorite foods and movies?

What if you want your loved one to spend the whole day with you but you get flowers, gift baskets, cards and just one hour with your valentine?

You’d be really disappointed right?

You would think that your valentine isn’t caring and is just going through the motions!

If you fast forward to a year from now and imagine that the same thing will happen again, are you okay with that?

If not, then you have a chance to begin sharing with your partner what being loved means to you.

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So this Valentine’s day why not give yourself the best gift of all-

Begin a dialogue with your loved one about your criteria for feeling loved, wanted, cherished and valued.

You’ll open up the most important channel of communication any couple can have.

You’ll avoid the disappointment and hurt that comes from repeated failures on the part of your loved one to give you what you need to feel important.

You will prevent angry and bitter rows, grudges and attacks that come from hurt at not being seen and taken care of the way that matters to you.

In short you will take a step in investing in your own happiness  and get taken care of in the way that matters to you.

In short you will take a step in investing in your own happiness and that of the both of you as a couple.

Copyright, Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D.

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Disclaimer: this article is for informational and educative purposes only. Dr. Raymond is not responsible for any reactions you may have when reading the content or using the suggestions therein. Interacting with this material does not constitute a therapeutic relationship with Dr. Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D.

 

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