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How to Flirt: The Smart Girl's Guide

Posted Dec 10 2008 3:22pm

Wrong! Knowing how to flirt is more important in this time of your life than it ever has been. When it comes to intuition, men are about as intuitive as a starfish. In fact, they are downright afraid of doing anything that might seem like harassment.

That cute guy you’ve been daydreaming about might be similarly smitten with you. He’s just afraid of over-stepping your boundaries. He has no way of knowing you are into him unless you do a little flirting with him.

He has to know it’s OK to switch to seduction mode.

 

You can't wait for him

“But can’t he just know that I like him and make the first move?”

Studies have shown, that only about 30% of guys have this skill. It’s just not something that guys spend any effort on learning. They don’t have any movies or TV shows that teach them to be smooth. The only talk they get about this is that awkward “sex talk” their dad gives them when their 10 years old.

There is a reason it’s called getting lucky. Really, knowing how to flirt effectively is the best weapon in your arsenal.

 

Flirting Kung Fu!

It's part of "The Game"

Women showing thier interest has been a part of humanity since the first cavewoman learned to smile and toss her matted hair. To put it plainly, it is something you just do. There really is no way out of this one. It has to be done. When you get to become a master at flirting, you’ll find that there is never a shortage of guys in your life.

Men love a good flirt. Have you ever had a man skilled on how to flirt chat you up? It really makes your day when you get the right kind of interest. It’s a combination of intense interest and seductive joy mixed with that little question in the back of your head, “Is he toying with me?”

To put it plainly, men rarely make the first move. Sure, he walked across the crowed bar to introduce himself, but it all started when you looked over at him with a faint smile and then shyly looked away. You sent the first signal!

 

The seductive language of the body

Much of this seduction game has to do with body language. Things like flipping your hair and pointing you body towards him are on the subtle side but can get downright suggestive when you touch your cleavage or lick your lips.

Get a book or two on body language if you are really clueless on this subject, but in reality, it all starts with mischievous smile. The guy has to know you are open to him coming over to talk to you.

Eye contact is also key in this process. Without eye contact, there is actually no way to know for sure if your target “got the message.” Look at any fashion or celebrity magazine. The picture where the starlet is peering at you from behind her tussled hair… pretty sexy!

 

Make him feel special

Knowing how to flirt is also about compliments. “What a great shirt?” Follow that statement by touching it (and him) sensually as you walk past. If he has a brain in his head, he will come find you within minutes to start a conversation. The trick about compliments is that they have to be real. Complimenting his filthy t-shirt is not only a little weird, if you end up with this guy, he’ll think you like how much of a pig he is!

Aim your compliments at things that are really unique about him. If there is anything about him you can tell he put effort into or cares about, definitely notice it and be impressed. Keep in mind as stated before: ANYTHING you choose to compliment him on is a sign of approval. “I love how you stay up all night playing videogames,” is going to backfire if you actually hate them.

 

Add a little push-pull

Flirting is about being playful. It’s about seducing men and giving him reason to view you in “that way.” It should also pose a challenge to him. Let him know that he hasn’t won you… yet. Feel free to bust out some playful insults. For example, let’s say he’s got the sculpted “messy hair” look. Some guys spend a half an hour to get it perfectly messy. If this is your guy, call him on it, “Did you just get out of bed?” Follow this with a sly smile, maybe a wink.

It is imperative you never pick on something that he might really be insecure about. Things like his belly, hair loss, ahem… “package size,” his height (unless he’s tall), skin problems (unless he’s too tan), or any other thing about himself he seems to be preoccupied about. You will actually end up insulting him and that’s not the goal here.

As you get more skill on how to flirt, you start to develop a sixth sense on how far you can push a guy before he simply loses interest. The great thing is as long as you keep smiling and do things in a way that it stays on the joking level, you really can say anything to a man and he’ll follow you like a puppy dog.

 

You are a sensual being

Think of flirting as showcasing your sensuality. You can hold your fingers in a way that they are “accidentally” pointing at your cleavage. You can drink from a straw with slow, deliberate motions. Slow down your movements and let the image linger. Look in the mirror and practice blinking really slowly. Pretty sexy, huh?

Understanding how to flirt is not about lewd behavior or deliberate acts. Grabbing your boobs or making raunchy motions with your tongue will get you attention. It might even get you a lot of attention. But no guy will stick around for long if he thinks you always act so immodest.

Keep it light, keep it playful, watch some old film noir movies to see how some of the startlets from the 50’s had their game perfected. At the very root of this little game is knowing that you are sexy. Once you get that sexy feeling, it’s easy to tap into that sensual energy and project it outward.

If you’re new and just figuring out how to flirt, you will have some mistakes. Some will be embarrassingly funny. It happens to the best of us. Don’t get too caught up on any mistakes and try everything until you find what works best for you.

Ready? Go get him, tigress!
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