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How dating sex is like waffles

Posted Jul 28 2008 8:15pm

It can be hot, steamy and mouth watering. With a great recipe and tasty condiments, it can be delectable.

But just as with the first waffle, the first time with a new love can also be anemic and unsatisfying. In fact, many midlife daters report the initial romp to be less fulfilling than they hoped. Even with someone with whom they are emotionally and physically excited.

So do what you do with the first waffle — throw it out!

Does that mean to ignore the first time exploring bedroom bliss with your sweetie? Not really. But it does mean not putting a lot of weight on the outcome. You are learning about each other, what the other likes, communicating what you want. There can be a lot of pressure. So if one or both of you don’t reach nirvana, it is not a pronouncement that you are sexually incompatible. It means that this part of your relationship is a work in progress, just like other parts.

With waffles, you expect the first one to be “practice.” Keep that same attitude toward your first-time intimacy with your beau. And, just like with waffles, give the “iron” (your connection) time to heat up so the subsequent attempts yield more satisfying results.

When I make waffles, some of the batter oozes out the side. My waffles aren’t always beautiful to behold — but they are usually yummy if I put the love and attention into them that is needed to have a scrumptious repast. Your first (or second) intimate encounter can be inelegant. But given the right ingredients (mutual respect, communication, desire, humor), horizontal happiness is bound to be cooked up.

Got a topic on dating after 40 you want Dating Goddess to address? Send your issue to Goddess@DatingGoddess.com.

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