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Great E-Mail Intros in Online Dating

Posted Jan 08 2009 4:19pm

Online dating icebreakers is a topic that has been tackled before here on Dating Tales, but there’s a lot to say about it so I thought I would take another shot at it.

The reason: It’s friggin’ hard to start a conversation with someone online whom you’ve never met before and know only what they’ve written in their profile. You also have a need to be original and make a good impression, and that’s a lot of pressure.

Next time you’re at a loss, but really want to say hello to some cutie (or more than one cutie), try these suggestions for great e-mail intros in online dating.


1. Ask a follow up question to something in their profile, but make sure its an interesting one. Instead of asking where in Europe they traveled, why not say: “My favorite European destination were the Spanish Steps in Rome. My friends and I stayed there all day just people watching and lounging in cafe. Did you go there?

This one is a little obvious but you can’t ever go wrong by asking someone to talk about themselves.

2. Tell a joke. Play a game. Ask some trivia. Get the object of your affection to do something instead of just respond with: “I grew up in Oregon and have two younger sisters.”


You’ll get to all that stuff later. Get your online flirtation started with a little playfulness.

3. Here’s a novel idea. Give a few sweet compliments! Maybe you like his sunglasses in his profile photo or maybe you’re reading his favorite book too and think he’s right about the main character. Or, maybe you think he has good taste in food, music, etc. and then get more specific by recommending an album or restaurant.

Stroking someone’s ego will get your far.

Now that you have a few ideas on what you should do, here’s what not to do in online dating e-mail intros:

Don’t say anything along the lines of “I’m not really sure what to say here” or “I’m new at this online dating thing and don’t know how this works” or “You look hot. Wanna go out?”

That’s no way to close a deal. Don’t reveal your insecurities and don’t be too aggressive. That’s not a turn-on to anyone. Be confident, but don’t over do it.

You may be unsure, but he doesn’t need to know that. He needs to think that you are really into him and have so much you want to say that just can’t hardly stand it.

Good luck in your online dating. If you would like help writing your online profile, sign up for the Dating Tales profile writing service today.

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