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Five Tips for Creating Soulful Intimacy In Your Relationship

Posted Sep 22 2008 10:27am

There are times in life when we experience intimacy in natural, spontaneous ways.  Consider love at first glance

Someone who was a stranger is now in your life 24/7 and crazy about you!  Suddenly, parts of your life that were private are now on display to the one you love but with whom love hasn’t been tested. 

For instance, putting potato chips on your sandwich in front of him or her makes you feel awkward with the intimacy of the exposure of a funny, little detail of your life!  The first time you get naked together makes you tingle all over from the vulnerability.  Intimacy that is the result of love at first glance is easy. 

It is when we have been in love for a while that we need to turn our attention once again to intimacy.  We can create the kind of intimacy that will set our souls aflame!  Following are five tips for creating soulful intimacy.

Speak and listen in a new way

Men and women communicate differently.  Men like to get right to the point; therefore, they only have so much time and attention when it comes to listening.  They want you to get to the point!  Women, on the other hand, like to share nuances of insights and feelings when they communicate.  Getting to the point for a woman might take several meandering twists and turns first. 

One way to create soulful intimacy is to speak and listen in such a way that your partner feels seen and heard.  When a woman gets right to the point, her man hears her in a completely new way, which is gratifying for both of them!  When she listens with focused attention, he feels heard and appreciates this. 

When he listens to her meandering thoughts and expressed feelings, she feels cherished.  When he takes the risk to speak of his feelings, philosophy, and personal experience, she feels honored.

Without trying to morph into the opposite sex’s viewpoint, just every once in a while speak and listen the way he or she does.  As simple as it sounds, doing so will make you feel you are taking one of those risks that makes you feel the kind of vulnerability that creates a fresh spurt of intimacy in the air between you. 

Get imaginative with touch

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