When going through a divorce, the most important thing to remember I that it will be possible for you live a happy and driven life again, on your own, as soon as you are ready to put the past behind you and retake control over your own future. Give yourself the time and understanding you need to grieve, stew, or question , and then set out to find a new passion, a new interest, a new goal in life to keep yourself going. Don't let the baggage of your past marriage destroy your chances of healthy, fulfilling relationships in the future. For most people, the process of recovering from a divorce is one that takes time and patience and that cannot be rushed or minimized to someone else's timetable or expectations.
Following a divorce, friends and family will likely be eager to share advice, anecdotes, and hints. They will probably tell you that you need to "get over it" and that you should just be happier now than you were before. Thank these people graciously for their concern-they really do mean well and want what's best for you-but remember that they can't really comprehend what you are going through and that you know best when it comes to your own reactions and needs. Now is the time to focus on yourself, not one what others expect from you.
The aftermath of a divorce is often a rollercoaster ride of emotions, from anger and shock to grief and relief. Keeping a journal-even if it's just a simple notebook to jot down your thoughts-can be extremely helpful in sorting these feelings out. Some people also find encouragement in blogs and online forums where they can anonymously share their experiences with others going through similar situations.
It is crucial during this time to surround oneself with close, supportive friends and family members. Many people also turn to therapists to help them heal from a recent divorce, and some are surprised by how helpful speaking with a counselor can be. A therapist can help to put things into perspective and provide a refreshing viewpoint on the situation since they aren't deeply mired in the past events.
After a marriage ends, one should do one one's best to try to make a new and better life for oneself. Seek out new interests and new hobbies. An exercise program can be great way to improve one's outlook on life. Nothing beats tension and stress like a good workout, and exercise can help to repair confidence and positive energy sapped by the divorce.
Unfortunately, coping with divorce often entails more than just getting your emotions in check. Dealing with finances, dividing assets, and figuring out what to do with the house are major things to consider, not to mention the all important issue of custody if there are children involved.
Take an accurate account of your financial situation to determine what it is you're going to have to do after the divorce is final to continue enjoying your current lifestyle, or at least make ends meet. Seek debt counseling if need be, and be sure to ask your attorney or mediator for their advice as to how the two of you will be able to come to an agreement that's fair to everyone.
While coping with divorce isn't necessarily going to be a walk in the park, it doesn't have to alter your life to the point you no longer enjoy the simple things, or find that you no don't recognize yourself anymore. Marriages may end, although life does go on, but only if you make it happen.