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Expectations, hopes, and fears about adolescent sexuality

Posted Jul 26 2008 10:18am

This coming week I am - gasp! - home alone.  Yep, that’s right, my kids and partner have hit the vacation trail and left me to fend for myself in the wilds of South Austin.  My mother-in-law’s reaction: “Well, that’s…odd.  Tell me why?”  Because I am writing my book.  I have a whole week to myself, and I was desperately torn between updating this not-so-lovely website with the snazzy graphics I’ve been drawing in my “spare” time and finally duct-taping myself to a chair to write my book.

I decided the graphics might be more fun, but the book might actually help people.  So book it is!

The book is, unimaginatively, for parents on how to talk with their teenagers about sex, sexuality, and romance.  So I’m going to have a whole section on parental expectations, hopes, and fears about sex and romance.  I’ve talked with many parents about this in person, and collected quite a varied list, but I’d love to hear from you, gentle readers, about your own present, past, or future thoughts about your kids’ involvements (or non-involvements) in sex and romance.  Here’s a partial list of what real parents have said about their kids:

Expectations

  • I expect my daughter to say what she wants romantically and sexually.
  • I expect my son to keep his romantic and sexual engagements to himself, both at home and at school.
  • I expect my daughter to fall in love.
  • I expect my son to try and have sex with girls.
  • I expect my daughter to have sex as a teenager.

Hopes

  • I hope my son is a virgin when he gets married.
  • I hope my daughter really enjoys her sexual life.
  • I hope my son is kind to the women he has sex with.
  • I hope my daughter masturbates.
  • I hope my son loves the first person he has sex with.

Fears

  • I’m afraid my daughter will be gay.
  • I’m afraid my son will hurt someone else.
  • I’m afraid my daughter will be date raped.
  • I’m afraid my son will ruin his life.
  • I’m afraid my daughter will not listen to or believe what I tell her about boys and sex.
  • I’m afraid my son will be taken in by some girl.

Hope that gets your juices going!  Leave your additions or reactions to the lists down below.

Oh, and because I’m writing on the book, my writing on this blog may be somewhat erratic this week (starting now - I hardly ever have the quiet and attention to post on a Sunday afternoon!).

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