I was on the Jim Bohannon show last month talking about saging, life, sex and other issues that have to do with our exciting websitewww.fiftyandfurthermore.com. A brave caller asked the following question. "I am in my mid fifties, had prostate cancer and no longer perform or function as a man Dr. Lynn. What do I do?"
There are many remedies to penile or sexual dysfunction as a result of prostate surgery. I chose not to go into all the possibilities and complications in the 3 minutes allotted me. And simply, sounding a bit cavalier said "so what?" Meaning you are still human and capable of connection, and relationships, there is still a place for you. The man seemed relieved.
It's easy to understand how part of one's identity seems diminished when you can no longer perform as you once did. Regaining self confidence and feeling like a stud (if he ever was one) becomes a major issue. I hope this guy talks to his friends, joins a support group, and/or enters short time therapy and get some help before he risks becoming a recluse. He's got plenty of issues to fiddle with, that's for sure. My wish is that he gets help remembering that he has an identity that is the sum of more than his dick. With perseverance, patience and loving connections, he will be able to find a fulfilling life. Is it easy… "No." But, is it possible… "Yes." I've seen it happen, therefore I know it is possible.