We have many new readers on the site and I wanted to give this guidance for commenting. The email policy (sending email directly to me) is in a post below. For a reminder: if you email me personally you MUST say “Feel free to answer on the blog” otherwise it won’t get answered. If you have sent an email and done that, please remind me in a couple of weeks that I haven’t answered. Feel free to nudge me until I do. Things get buried very quickly.
Email to other users: you can friend another user and then send private emails. See the tabs above. If anyone abuses this private mail feature, please let me know.
If you are reading someone else’s comments and want to comment on that you hit reply from inside their message box. If you reply to someone’s comment by hitting reply in their comment box, it makes everything so much easier to read.
If you just want to reply to the topic, reply in the box beneath the last comment (not IN any other comment)
There are two types of threads on GPYP, topic threads and check-ins. I ask that people stay on topic in the subject threads and talk about whatever they want in the check in threads. The check-in threads get long and page break at 50 comments so the reply button helps keep it organized.
When I change the check-in thread: I used to change it on Sundays, no matter what, but then it started to get over 300 replies in just a matter of days so I watch it when it’s getting past 250. New check-in threads are always popular so if I have a post in mind that I want up and haven’t had a chance to post it before the new check in thread, you will see the count go past 300 (but not that past 300).
Blog readers cannot start new threads but this is what they can do:
Email me and request a topic for me to write on, send me an email with the “you can post this on the blog” letter and I’ll answer it there or write your own guest blog.
There is a Commenting Housekeeping page above but here are the highlights. For the full policy see the page above.
Everyone’s first comment on the blog will be held for moderation.
Any comment with a link will be held for moderation.
Please be careful when posting links to third-party resources.
If something is posted here it does not have my endorsement unless it’s listed on the bar on the right side. So please know that the opinions here of third-party material are those of the commenters and not me.
When quoting ANYTHING AT ALL from another website or author please give full credit and please keep the quotes and references to a minimum.
The copyright rule is to post a minimum of the post (usually first paragraph) and the provide a link back to the source. I deal with this all the time (another time consuming thing is policing my posts out there on the intertubes). I would not like any other author or site ripped off and have their stuff on here. I allow commenters to reference their own blog so long as it’s not something inappropriate or that’s all they say. Also I will post your blog links on the side: GPYP Reader Blogs. Just shoot me an email about it.
Please keep profanity to an absolute minimum. It is not necessary in civil discourse. You will notice that I use it sparingly and usually for effect. Sometimes I read a comment about the someone’s ex BH and all I can think of is “Oh F that (or him or her).” Other times I use it as an adverb. But I use it sparingly and expect others to do that same.
No personal attacks PLEASE. This must remain a safe forum and anyone engaging in personal attacks will be banned. You are free to disagree with each other but please let’s be civil and treat each other with respect.
Please keep “text speak” to a minimum. Please spell out your and you and other words that tend to be truncated in texting. It makes it easier to read.
When the blog was new and didn’t have so many readers I could delete comments at the request of the author, but I can’t delete every comment someone thinks better of later on. So please post carefully. If you are not getting replies to your comments, it may be getting lost in older posts. Post on the check in thread or introduction threads. If you’re not getting replies, ask why. Perhaps what you’re asking for isn’t clear. Don’t take it personally. We all want to help you. We don’t want anyone coming off a breakup to feel ignored! Let us know how we can help and that your questions were not answered. We WANT to help you!
This is a personal pet peeve of mine only because I’ve been reading comments for 4 years on here and try to get a sense of commenters and be able to look at a post and think, “Oh year, this is that person who….”
To help to that end: I prefer to see names or nicknames more than phrases as your username but if you do, please use more than just a first name in your posts. We have several Kathy’s, we had 2 Lolas and a few Matthews and Mikes. It helps to distinguish you if you use more than just a first name. You can use JohnnyMontana, Sallywholikestocook, EdfromToronto or things like that. It also gives you a unique and memorable name. Believe me I’ve been doing this a long time and if you don’t establish your persona on here, it’s usually harder when it comes to replies.
ALSO: f your name is Susan please use some other letter or abbreviation or something to distinguish you from me. Many people see Susan and just think it’s me. Then I get emails about what you said.
The reason I caution against phrases (esp ones that have to do with breakups) is because 1) it doesn’t always give us a sense of who you are and 2) we have a lot of like-sounding names. We’ve had a lot of movingforward, movingon, etc. In fact we had a long time original blogger named MovingOn and whenever I see a post by the new MovingOn, I think it’s her.