When we’re dating someone we’re really into, there may be tells that the developing relationship may not be healthy. But we have a way of overriding our internal dialog. ”Don’t give me no bad news!”
And we can be quite creative in changing that internal dialog to get what we want.
He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: NO! Don’t even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course! Over and over!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: NO! Why are you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Every chance I get!
She: Will you hit me?
He: Are you crazy! I’m not that kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
There is a consequence for overriding our internal dialog, for living our lives upside down. Unfortunately, the consequence(s) is too often experienced after we’ve married. Read the dialog above again. This time, read it bottom up!
We didn’t write this dialog. We adapted it from a quote [author unknown] to make our point. Our reservations as to someone’s intentions, integrity and fidelity have a source. And whether our concerns are proven to have sound basis or not, we are wiser for having taken the time to explore their root. We don’t ever want to enter marriage with the faulty foundation of suspicion or with a lack of basic trust in one another.
When there is a prompt in you that something or someone is not right, don’t ignore it. This “internal dialog” is often God’s own wisdom compelling us to yield. And even-though we can’t always articulate what is wrong, we’re observing behavior that are signaling trouble at hand and ahead.
We must proceed with caution. Marriage not only exposes our strengths but our weaknesses. Be vigilant. Don’t settle.