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Do you let hunky men get away with more?

Posted Aug 27 2008 6:16pm

You may answer, “No. A man has to treat me right or he’s out of my life, no matter how handsome he is.”

Or perhaps you realize that good looks do buy some good will, often more than is warranted. It isn’t something most of us are proud to admit, but yes, we do allow hunky men to get by with some behaviors we wouldn’t accept from others. Shallow, I know.

During my recent 5-month whirlwind romance with a handsome and chiseled man, a good friend repeatedly asked, “Would you put up with his nonsense if he wasn’t so good looking?” I sheepishly answered, “Probably not.”

Part of it, I think, is we consider the whole package when we make our decisions about what to tolerate and when to put our foot down. If my ex-beau had been only eye candy, the tolerance threshold would have been much lower. I’ve gone out with handsome men who were arrogant, selfish, and inarticulate, all of which are turn offs. So if a man is only great looking, there’s not enough to hold my interest. But if exceptional looks are coupled with other attractive characteristics, the combination can cause you to look the other way when faced with marginally acceptable behaviors.

I’ve often said, “Yummy is as yummy does” since an average-looking man becomes more attractive as you get to know his kind, generous, romantic or courageous spirit. And I’m not proud to admit that sometimes yummy does provide indulgences for not-so-yummy behaviors.

So should you not date hot men? You should date anyone you find interesting, stimulating, and attractive. But be vigilant in noticing what you accept that you wouldn’t endure in a not-so-handsome man. You should be treated always with the utmost respect and not lower your standards just because he’s gorgeous.

Got a topic on dating after 40 you want Dating Goddess to address? Send your issue to Goddess@DatingGoddess.com.

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