Do Children Have to be the Death Knell of Intimacy in Marriage?
Posted Aug 24 2008 4:07pm
I guess they do. But I'm sure some people have figured out a way around this. But I went to school with a lot of kids who had oodles of brothers and sisters. And now, I wonder...how did those families with 6 or 8 kids get so big? There must have been some sort of work-around that those parents came up with.
But apparently most couples with young kids are doomed to cram enough togetherness into 10 minutes of fooling around so that they can at least fool themselves into feeling like they used to after going out to dinner and a movie and then spending the next morning in bed until lunch. Wow -- 12 hours of lovin' squashed down into 10 minutes. The funny/sad part is, for me at least, this concentrated scenario works.
At least for now when I am constantly physically on call for my children when I'm at home. I work at least 40 hours a week outside of the house, so when I am there, my kids are -- literally -- on me. In fact, they even fight over me. I tell myself to remember this for when they are teenagers and hate me with an equal intensity, but it's hard having small beings hanging on you constantly and crying when you don't pick them up.
Currently, if I start to go upstairs while my kids are in the living room, my 2-year-old screams, "Nooooo!!!!" Does this make me feel guilty? Yes. Does it also make me yearn for a day when my children won't be interested in my every move. Yes.
This kind of constant surveillance doesn't leave much room for my long-suffering husband. I don't have a lot of interest in any other kind of physical closeness once the kids have stopped pawing me and gone to sleep. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids to bits, but it's exhausting. And I am a naturally shy and reserved person so it's not in my nature to want screaming fans. The Beatlemania/Mommymania of our house makes me feel for celebrities who have strange adults they they don't, and will never, love pawin gat them and tearing at their clothing.