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Did Your Marriage Fail Because Marriage is a Flawed Concept or Because You Married the Wrong Person?

Posted Oct 26 2008 1:41pm

So… what did you LIKE about being married??? 

There are so many people out there who can speak on this topic.  There are many of us who have had a marriage end in divorce or separation.  It’s true, life DOES go on.. but how do those with ‘marriage experience’ under their belts now look upon the topic?  I find the question of ‘so, what did you LIKE about being married’ to hold two-part answers..

1. What did you think about your past marriage and 

2. What do you believe (now that you are armed with the expertise) about marriage moving forward?

Did You Marry The Wrong Person?

First off, if you are in the position to have freed yourself from the clutches of a marriage gone wrong you likely view the problem as being the person you chose in the first place.  For whatever reason, the common theme in most dissolutions of marriage is that the two parts simply did not mix long term. 

Which, in turn leads to a million other little issues or problems that eventually drive people to the breaking point.  Now, this is not the same thing as putting 100% of the blame onto your ex-spouse.  It is ultimately saying that perhaps it wasn’t the concept of marriage as much as the wrong person to take that path with, which is the constant most of us with ‘past’ marriages, can attest to. 

Or Is Marriage Just A Bad Concept All Together?

There are those who are simply jaded toward the concept of marriage all together.  That one time was enough for them.  Since they did not marry the ‘right’ person to go the distance with the first time, they believe marriage is simply not for them. 

They look upon marriage with disdain and feel that it is merely a trap and that most marriages either dissolve or that those who stick it out are not usually there because they ‘want’ to be.  I believe, people with this point of view are not thinking outside of the box on this one.  After all, if you had one bad job would you never take on another one again? 

Holding onto angst and blame from a previous relationship only halts you from fulfilling any potential of a new situation.  Unless, the person who holds such grief toward the concept of marriage, does not believe in the concept of commitment or monogamy in the first place.  Then it’s more the idea of marriage that turns them off and not necessarily the partner.

Serial Brides & Grooms

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