I read your article "Attitude Adjustment" and some of the things you said really resonated. In recent years, I have found myself developing more and more resentment toward my wife (who thinks very differently than I do). I want to dissolve this resentment. I have no interest in divorce, and I am smart enough to Know that I can't change her. What I want to do is find a way to think differently so that the things she does, doesn't do, says, and doesn't say don't bother me so much.
Good for you for wanting to get past your resentment and create a working relationship with your wife. Resentment comes from expectations that are based on fantasy of what your relationship should be, rather than discovering realistic ways of bridging your gaps. A big task of marriage is learning to accept each other as you are and work together to bring out the best in each other.