Day four of my 30 day challenge to write…Woman basher…I am not:)
Posted Jun 24 2010 11:04am
Why am I so hard on women? I got a comment from a reader feeling I woman bash at times…I appreciate her honesty.
My response? I am harder on women because I am one. I can’t speak for men…it is impossible to have a true outlook on why they do what they do because I am not one…obviously:).
Woman basher. Now, that is a new one for me!
Even so, I will try and explain where I am coming from.
As a woman, I have fought hard to take the heartbreaks and lessons life has presented to me and use them to help me take 100% responsibility for my own life.
I am the owner of my body; I am the author of my story. I am learning to trust my instinct and actually listen…which, is the greatest challenge for a woman.
We all speak of equality and rights- yet, we still try to live from a, “wounded, weaker mentality” when faced with relationship dynamics with men. It is a complete contradiction and widens the gap between where we are and where we desire to be.
We do this to ourselves- not men. Not society. We blindly bring it on ourselves without awareness or consciousness.
Women expect men to be upfront and honest with them yet, a majority of women are not even honest with themselves about the true make up of a man. And, even if they are honest enough to acknowledge the differences- most women judge men and their differences and every single thing they do is from a strategic positioning of trying to change them.
I will even go as far to say that the only way some women feel safe in intimate relationships with men is if their man in some way “mimics” the emotional and moral make up of a woman.
It is the Cinderella syndrome…and in order to perpetuate it, we project onto men the image of what we need for them to be in order to sustain the “safety”. As a result, women tend to read into words and actions, believe words over actions and assume whatever it takes to support the imaginary image…and men, will spoon feed us this because they have found it works-anything to avoid conflict and criticism- the two ugly “C” words that are like Kryptonite to men.
There has been a gross imbalance for centuries and centuries of women denying their own needs to fulfill a man’s needs and of women looking to men to fulfill those needs.
It is repression and projection and the basis of dysfunction in the modern world today. It is an endless treadmill of each person in the relationship having to so delicately play their part and keep up the charade as not to disrupt the flow of “conditional” love that we convince ourselves is unconditional.
I, for one, believe it is time for us ladies to listen to the men around us. Because they are simply mirroring back to us how much we are willing to betray ourselves.
All deception begins with self deception.
Self deception always precedes the belief of a lie.
They key is for women to stop looking to the outside and start going within for their needs. Because, in order to meet your needs you have to be honest with yourself and, when you start being honest with yourself… you start attracting honesty in your life.
Why am I so hard on women? It is actually a compliment. I believe women have the power to heal the rift between men and women; by starting with themselves.
But, at some point the blame game has to stop. There is no use in pointing the finger at anyone else when the power lies within you. We can choose how to handle things, how to let it affect us, who to stay with, what to put up with, what to believe, how to communicate, how to love and how to be loved.
I call it speaking MENGLISH Drop your judgments and you just might see something of beauty in the differences between men and women. Work on yourself and you will find quality men are all that surround you.