Day 7 of my 365 day challenge to write…What is love?
Posted Aug 09 2010 9:23am
What is love, baby don’t hurt me…don’t hurt me…no more.
I just had to start with that so you have that song stuck in your head all day:).
I am realizing more and more with every passing moment that love is nothing…absolutely nothing that I have been trained and brainwashed to believe.
I have known this…but it seems that now more than ever I am realizing I am clueless…and that is OK.
It is OK because when I say “clueless”, I mean that my head is finally out of it.
When I look at all the pain and hard times I have experienced with love…
I never thought I would be able to look at it and say, “Thank you.”
Thank you, pain.
Thank you, heartbreak.
Thank you, betrayal.
Thank you, disappointment.
Thank you, rejection.
Thank you, deceit.
Thank you, withholding.
Thank you, teachers.
All of these things, the sum of them all, are what I owe my salvation to.
In all these things I learned to stand on my own- to finally listen to my voice- to stand up for myself- to trust my instincts- to realize I can attach to nothing- to drop possessiveness- to release unrealistic expectations…
These unrealistic, fairytale-esque expectations are the weeds that choke out the beauty and growth of a love over time.
When you stop expecting happiness to come through the opposite sex, when there isn’t a drop of need in you to have that in order to feel validated or secure or confident…that is when the sky opens and love drops in.
Love being the connection and acknowledgement of another person; being in the moment.
Trusting it…just trusting it.
Not needing to ask the questions…or cling…or figure it out…or have a guarantee.
This is the beauty in growing old.
Every year you learn to fall in love with yourself.
Every betrayal leads you back home…to you.
Every experience becomes the most precious gift…those people who hurt you? You find the utmost love and respect for; because they gave something greater than even the people in your life that showed up with love.
In asking the question over the years, “What is love”…sticking with it…fists to the sky demanding an answer no matter what that answer comes disguised in…
With that…I don’t have to ask “Baby don’t hurt me…don’t hurt me…no more” .
It is my choice. I am not a victim. I am not some helpless soul at the mercy of anyone.
I am grateful…oh so grateful for where I find myself to be.
Can you tell?:)
Thank you…to my lessons and teachers…for bringing me to the place where I can be free.
How about you? Can you look at your past and embrace it for the value it brought you? Can you look at a hurt from a different angle and extract a gift from it?
Can you break the boundaries of fear and let love in and just be?