Day 15 of my 30 day challenge to write…My Grandmother and the Hot tub time machine.
Posted Jul 05 2010 5:53pm
I just watched Hot tub time machine.
If you haven’t seen it, do it.
Funny, especially if you grew up in the 80’s.
After the movie I made myself a cup of hot green tea. And, as I was standing there staring…waiting for the signs of boiling water, I looked up and noticed one of my cookbooks was upside down.
I am not sure if I noticed it because it was upside down or, because I am hungry and the back cover is like a ‘food porn’ shot of profiteroles….
Either way, I picked it up and began looking through it.
It was my Grandmother’s cookbook. She loved anything having to do with the French…her Great Grandfather came over to Savannah, Georgia from France.
I flipped through the pages finding notes she had written. She had the most beautiful penmanship. She was a writer in her own right. When she passed away, we found boxes of journals where she had written over the span of her lifetime…her thoughts. She would have been a blogger today:).
What I found odd is one of the only recipes she wrote down, Crème Cheese Crepes with Apricot Sauce, she dated July 8, in the top right hand corner. That is my Birthday…obviously, a few days from now.
I looked at the beautiful way she wrote her “j” in July…I stared thinking about how even when we are gone a part of us still lives…on an old sheet of paper…providing the steps for perfect Crème Cheese Crepes.
Maybe I am just emotional right now. Maybe, the last 15 days of taking the time to stop and listen to what I wanted to speak out…maybe, this has caused a flow of sorts.
But, I can’t help but think my Grandmother is here with me now as I write this post.
What would she have done differently in her life? That is what I would ask her.
Just like the Hot tub time machine…(I had to lighten it up a little)…
If given the chance to choose again, would we choose differently?
I did something some time ago, that to some…I am sure, will be a little out there.
But, I was praying one day…in bed…thinking of specific instances in life, over the years, that I really wanted to get past. To let go of. There were a few hurts with people that although, I had forgiven…still lingered around at times.
I thought to myself, what if I could go back to each one of these instances and relive them in my head, except this time, play it out in my mind the way I WISH it would have turned out. A kind of meditation…
So, I did just that. It helped me to get in touch with the disappointment, the hurt…everything I felt that I was just stuffing down in order to move on.
It isn’t that I necessarily gave some Pollyanna ending in my head…I just played what it would feel like to have a legitimate conversation with the person that set it all back to good.
Since then, three of those four circumstances have mended in ways that have shocked me.
One of them, I got an email out of the blue from the person.
The other, I ran into the person and they apologized.
The other, I got a phone call.
And the 4th? I really don’t care anymore…that is the beauty in the whole thing…it heals on a level in yourself…and, nothing else matters because the initial hurt dissolves. My little formula for forgiveness and moving foward in life.
I think that is what my Grandmother’s response would be to me right now. Don’t wait until it is too late…you have the power in yourself, to turn it all around, now.
Just let go of what you think and feel is the “reality” of the outcome…and give yourself permission to imagine a wildly different outcome. Who cares! It is done and over with anyway right?
Just imagine it the way you WISH it would have turned out. Then let it go.
In a way, you have gone back in your Hot tub time machine…and changed your feelings about it.
And, when your feelings change from negative to positive about a situation…you will be amazed at what can occur.
This is my doo-do-doo-do-doo-do-doo-do post of the 30 day challenge;)