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Dating Lessons for the Single Mom

Posted Jul 22 2008 8:23pm

Carmin Wharton is The Relationship Teacher and offers these ‘lessons’ on dating for the single mom:

  • Make Your Happiness A Priority:Children who are forced to live with a love sick and miserable mom are a sad lot. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a single mother having a love life. Know that you are not to feel guilty about wanting to spend time in the company of a man. Understand this: your children will not need you as a hands-on mom forever; they will grow up, develop their own lives and leave home. Begin now to create and carve out a life for yourself. Know that you deserve to be happy and if dating contributes to your happiness, by all means make dating and/or seeking a mate a priority.

  • Get out and invest more time in attracting a mate:What do your future relationships look like? Do you desire a long-term committed relationship or are you looking for a very casual relationship? Make sure you carve time out of your busy schedule to go places and do things where you can be seen by a potential mate.

  • Employ friends to help you: If attracting a relationship is important, then make it a priority. Attend events and place yourself in situations where you can meet people. Let friends and family know that you want to date; they just may be the ticket to that dream boat man.

  • Explore dating sites:Dating sites are just like everything else – there’s good and there’s bad; there are pros and there are cons. There just may be a single man in your area who is also sincerely seeking a mate and he just may have decided to give online dating a try. Guess what? If you don’t try it, you might miss meeting him. I would be remiss if I didn’t warn you to be extremely careful with online dating. This warning is not for the reason you may expect. Of course, you are a smart single mom and you know to use caution in meeting someone in person; take a friend with you. If you must go alone, make sure at least two people know who and where you are meeting. Make sure you meet in a public place. Never share too much identifying information while you are getting to know someone online, such as where you specifically live, where you work and the hours you work. These are obvious safety tips that most smart women know. However, what most smart women don’t realize is that it’s very easy to form a superficial relationship via email, winks and instant messaging. You cannot get to know a man via the Internet; you can only really get to know him in person and by spending time with him.

  • Trust your intuition:Whether you meet someone online or in person, if your intuition –you know that funny feeling in your gut – just doesn’t seem right or things don’t line up, follow your intuition and break off communication with them. You don’t need to knowwhythey were not good for you; just trust your intuition. And, don’t be bullied into remaining in contact with them. Do not allow desperation and loneliness to blind you to a potential problem person.

  • Slow it down girl:When you do meet someone you are attracted to, it is much better to takes things slow and allow something develop. I know it’s tempting to do so, but do not spend too much time together right away and do not share the intimate details of your life right away. Some things you should never share; let the past be the past. Refrain from introducing this man to your family and friends right away. However, don’t wait too long to introduce him because people who love you can often spot a problem before you can. Wait even longer to introduce him to your children. You should be well on your way to feeling or thinking about a long-term relationship before you introduce him to your children. A monumental mistake in most cases is to have sex with a man soon in the relationship. Your ‘soon’ may be different for someone else’s ‘soon’ but you know what I’m talking about.

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