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Christmas CAME Early, Then I Got A Lump Of Coal

Posted Dec 29 2009 8:15am
My husband and I spent the holiday with his family out of town. The day before we left, we got down to business, knowing it wasn't happening while we were under his parents' roof. I hadn't had an orgasm probably since the beginning of the honeymoon in mid-October. Let me clarify, I haven't had an orgasm with him since then.

There are a lot of factors that influenced my dry spell: for one thing I was depressed, so sex wasn't happening very often and also performances were less than stellar... But that day, I was at the helm. I didn't think it would happen, but it snuck up on me and boy did it feel good! A clitoral orgasm cannot compare to a vaginal orgasm in my book.

That leg-shaking, toe-curling experience drastically reduced my stress level while we were away.

However, just like the last time we knocked boots, I had a great deal of pain at the opening of my pink orchid that continued long after the sex was over and the lidocaine had been applied. Obviously, my vulvodynia is back with a vengeance.

To repair the damage I began regularly applying the estrogen/testosterone compound, and quickly found out why I had stopped it in the first place (I should really read my own blog!). It irritates the skin in the surrounding area, especially my clit.

The compound is Vaseline-based, so it's hard to wash off. The longer it lingers, the more my skin flares. I'm hoping my doctor can prescribe something that is water-based.

The pain from the sex trauma and the compound trauma has dissipated, but don't worry I fixed that by going to the gym and spending too much time on the elliptical machine. I caused a pudendal nerve flare that is concentrated on the opening of my urethra (sorry I don't have a fun way to describe that).

How the Hell am I supposed to lose the wedding weight, the honeymoon weight and the holiday weight? This blows.

Also, all the cheating I've done at work crouching on a desk chair when I should be standing has messed up my tail bone. Now it hurts to sit for a whole new reason! But to make it even better, it also hurts to bend over and lie flat on my back! Awesome!

This is what cheating gets you ladies: a whole new set of problems.

Please forgive me for the paragraphs of bitching. I just had to get it all out. Despite all this crap, I'm managing pretty well. I'm actually amused by how messed up things are right now. Perhaps that humor came through.
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