Cheating Man - Why Did My Husband Cheat on Me and How Do I Prevent It Next Time?
Posted Feb 06 2011 10:34am
For those discovering suddenly that they have a cheating man at home, obsessive thoughts are what you have to deal with after the initial shock and devastation. One of the haunting questions is: Why did he cheat on me? Why do cheaters cheat? Is she better than me? Will he cheat again? How do I prevent that? In this guide you will find the top 7 reasons for cheating by men and how to prevent it from ever happening again.
Unfortunately, these questions are not very easy to answer and the answers are different for every cheater and every marriage. Here are the top 7 reasons given by cheaters to justify their betrayal:
1."My needs are not being satisfied inside the relationship." He thinks that it's o.k. to satisfy his needs elsewhere. He is wrong of course.
2."I never learned how to respect boundaries". He knows that they are out there, but he doesn't really honor boundaries and doesn't hesitate to "jump" over them.
3."I have sexual fetishes that I can't share with my partner." Sometimes he can't share them, and sometimes he did share them but his partner can't cooperate with it. So they go outside to get it.
4."I can't turn down sexual offers or invitations." He thinks that "he is not a man" if he turns down sex, especially by someone attractive.
5."I have low self esteem". He feels flattered and his self esteem is boosted when he finds out someone else is interested in him.
6."My partner doesn't make me feel special". He cheats because he thinks that someone else can make him feel special and fill this gap.
7."I can't really commit to anyone". He has a damaged sense of commitment, although he would probably deny it at first.
All of these reasons for your man cheating have one thing they common: They all think that going outside the relationship will fill their needs and solve all their problems. Most of the time, these are not the real reasons but only the justifications cheaters make to make sense of their betrayal for you and for themselves.
Will My Husband Cheat Again?
It's a common mistake to think that if you find out the reason for your man's cheating, you'll be able to predict if he will do it again in the future. But most of the time, knowing the trigger is not important and will not prevent it from happening again.
Preventing the next affair takes time and commitment. The good news is that neither you nor your spouse needs to investigate why the cheating happened, in order to prevent it from happening again, recommitting and having a better and joyful marriage. Let this question go.
How Do I Prevent Him From Cheating Again?
First of all, the "cheating man" and you both have to really want to heal your relationship and be ready to work and do everything possible to restore an honest relationship.
The next thing is discovering what it is you need from this relationship, what his needs are and how all of these needs have been neglected. There are step by step instructions for surviving an affair and saving your marriage in Dr. Frank Gunzburg's free e-mail course "How to Save Your Marriage and Survive Cheating."