Orgasm is sweet violence. A thrashing body, muscular contractions, perspiration, rapid shallow breathing and a wash of happy hormones bring the individual to ecstasy. And he or she lies spent. But was it special?
What makes sexual intimacy special? Is it the primal entangling of your bodies and the sensation of genital union? Is it the measure of passion observed by the ardent manner in which sexual activity is engaged? Is it how horny you are? How long you go? How powerful you climax? Is sex special when you perceive extraordinary personal performance?
What makes sex special?
I’ve only made love to one woman in my life. And I’m married to her. I’m not bragging but the information is pertinent. I’ve only ever wanted to please one person. My wife. My definition of sexual success is having her know that I was attentive and invested in her pleasure.
Over 15 years, this hasn’t been absolutely true. Some sex has been functional, comfortable and passable. But on the whole, we make it a point to make it special. It’s our commitment that makes the difference. The healthy approach to sex in marriage is to see the other’s fulfillment as your primary responsibility. Ideally, both are served more often than not. Sex is not a chore and, often, special will yield to practical. However, in retrospect, a review of your life together should reveal that special was the standard for your lovemaking.
Special, for this discussion, is defined as that which is out of the ordinary. So, if ordinary is the old hump‘n slump where the first to orgasm marks the end of lovemaking then special means…well, not being that way.
If ordinary is 60 seconds of kissing, 45 seconds of rubbing, 4 minutes of intercourse and going to bed then special means…well, not being that way.
Special is memorable, above and beyond, ideal, preferred, more, exceeding…excellent!
Let’s make a resolution! Whereas, in terms of age, 50 is the new 40, we resolve that special is the new ordinary! Can we make love special?
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