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Blame and Emotional Abuse

Posted Mar 05 2009 4:43am 1 Comment
In response to private email and questions on the blog, I’m in the middle of writing a post about being blamed for everything, being with an overly critical partner (and/or controlling) and emotional/verbal abuse where there is no physical abuse. I’d like to make the post as comprehensive as possible, so if you have a question [...]
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emotional abuse: yes, i too live with that. my dreams consist of unreal realities. such as somehow money will fall from the sky so i can buy and not rent a small house so i will not have to worry about being thrown out for not being able to pay the rent. so i can and my little cat, have some security and stability. fancy that happening. i am actually concidered very pretty. i will be sixty years old in two months and pass for forty and had no plastic surgery whatsoever. although, i have no degrees and no rich family or should i even say family at all. my parents were abusive, well my mom was, my dad was gone, my step father was worse than hitler... i can't get a job anymore. got layed off two years ago. i got a case of shingles two months ago. thank igoddess i didn't get the discusting rashes i saw on the internet, but... it effected my arm and back and side as in deep debiltating pains that seem never to go away. i read the stress most likely brought this on from it lowering my immune system. and, that these pains can last a year or a lifetime for some people. the man i live with for the past six years is extremely emotionaly abusive and used to be physically abusive until i got him on lexipro for his anger issues. it helped a lot but he still gets emotionally abusive because this way he doesn't have to be accountable for his own actions. whether it be computer issues, his xwife or kid, his clients, the weather, he can't find his glasses, it's all my fault and now that i am sick... he is madder than ever. he keeps saying i am dragging him down. are you kidding? i am sick becasue of him! nothing but nothing makes him stop his behavior becasue he is the center of his own world. not because he thnks he is a sex god either because for five years there has been none. we sleep in separte rooms. i'm on the couch. no affection, i work like a freak'n horse around here. i wash everything by hand, make everything from scratch, wait on his hand and foot yet, i am a loser and am ruining his life. one a month he says i do every thing and am the best in the world. i guess he thinks that is enough for me to hold onto and keep me hanging in there. wrong! i am just stuck and don't want to go from freak'n shelter to bus benches and all the worst. you are not alone all of you. i was an extremely actractive woman slowly dwindling away and wasting into nothingness. different men out there? wrong too. the only good men are taken and when you are my age, you can forget it. as well as that i am here with him and no one wants someone with someone else. my case is truely hopeless. all the suggestions don't apply and are not reality based if you are really in my situation. it is easy for many to say this and that, less you are exactly in my shoes and feel what i feel you can't know.


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