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Biblical Sex Ethics: A Christian Perspective On Sex Practices

Posted Aug 15 2008 12:00am

Sexual practices among married couples, especially those of the Christian and some other faiths, are often complicated by a lack of context and guidelines for acceptable sexual practices. In the case of Christians, the accepted standards for allowable practices are that which God provides through the teachings of the Bible.

Equally as unfortunate, many places of worship and many homes fail to adequately provide directionleaving a needless sense of taboo concerning what constitutes healthy sexual practice. Because our worship centers tend to teach the negatives of sex (adultery, fornication) without a balanced view for the gift of it in marriage, sex is treated as the forbidden fruit both in and out of the church.

TPB’s goal is not to convince you of what your practices should be but rather to encourage responsible liberty in sexual intimacy. Freedom can’t include viewing pornography. The arousal produced by such material competes against the goal of having a married man and woman in a healthy relationship mutually satisfy each other. Pornography promotes unhealthy and unrealistic images of what we should be. For us, freedom means having a clear Bible-based directive as to what your practices can be and discussing with your mate which options you are willing to explore. Guilt doesn’t have to and shouldn’t be an accepted part of your intimate life. You can have good feelings guilt free.

As much as we can, we are providing below, a summary guideline on a few sexual practices. While we believe that the oneness of a married couple is consummated in the act of genital union (and there is no equal substitute for it), we believe there needs to be a freedom to be playful and creative. Thus, we use the term intimacy because closeness is achieved during foreplay, play, and after-play. We do not cover ALL sexual practices as our site serves a very basic need. We encourage you to research other resources, seek the counsel of your pastor, church elder, a counselor and communicate with your spouse on these and other intimacy matters about which you may have questions.

Guidelines to Healthy Marital Intimacy:

Masturbation: Masturbation is the act of manually stimulating a person’s genitals, usually with the use of hands. It can be performed on one’s self or on a spouse.

The bible does warn us not to ‘defraud’ our spouses (I Corinthians 7:3-5). We believe this means intercourse. However, when mutually agreed upon, masturbation can be used as foreplay, play, or after-play to stimulate your spouse, even to orgasm.

We find no explicit or implicit biblical prohibition against such.

Oral Sex: Oral sex is the act of manually stimulating a person’s genitals with the use of mouth or tongue. Cleanliness is often a concern when oral sex is considered. It is a matter of fact that, in both men and women, bathed healthy genitals are cleaner than the average human mouth.

For some, the smell of genitals is a ‘turn-off’ and for many others, the smell of their spouse’s clean genitals promotes arousal.

NOTE: Blowing into your wife’s vagina can be dangerous, particularly if she is pregnant.

It is commonly accepted that passages in the Song of Solomon refer to oral sex (2:3, 4:16, and 8:2). We find no explicit or implicit biblical prohibition against such.

Marital Aids: Vibrators, dildos, eggs, bullets, and rings are among the mainstays of this category. These products are crafted to promote genital stimulation and can help bring a spouse to orgasm.

For many, marital aids serve to heighten pleasure and vary the sexual experience to ensure both spouses eventually reach a full and satisfying climax. To be clear, God’s gift of sexual intercourse is represented during genital union between a married man and woman. The two individuals become one.

In an emotionally and spiritually healthy relationship between two people of reasonable physical health, we encourage genital union. However, we believe that procreation is not the only purpose of sex and that mutual pleasure is important to healthy sexual intimacy. There are benefits that can be derived from playfulness.

We find no explicit or implicit biblical prohibition against such.

Pornography :P ornography is generally defined as any material consisting of words and/or images that are sexually explicit. Based on this definition, many, in his time and now, might consider the Song of Solomon pornographic in nature. Since we are not legalist and don’t wish to create a forum for debate, we will strictly conform to the scriptures here.

For the purposes of our conversation, pornography is recreational viewing of sexually explicit images and words that 1. Do not expressly draw the thoughts and hearts of you and your spouse to each other. (Song of Solomon 7:10, Hebrew 13:4)
2. Causes you to sin in your heart by promoting mental fantasies exclusive of your spouse, inclusive of others, or generally degrading of either of you. (Ephesians 5:29, I Corinthians 6:19-20)
3. Are the drives for actions, events, or happenings that are not profitable for you or your family.

Pornography is addictive and destructive. It depicts extra-marital and group sex when the bible commands sex only between a married man and a woman (Matthew 19:4-5, 1 Timothy 3:2,12). The Bible states that we should not partake in things that enslave us to them. Just because we have access to certain things doesn’t necessarily mean we should partake of them (I Corinthians 6:12 and 10:23). We believe that the scripture on the whole explicitly and implicitly prohibits against recreational viewing of sexually explicit images and words.

Ultimately, we know that sexual intimacy is more than physical. Its impact is emotional, psychological, and, we believe, spiritual. Spouses should not ask each other to compromise one another’s beliefs (Romans 14:1 & 14 & 23). However, spouses should lovingly and actively seek to meet the legitimate needs of one another (1 Co 7:3-5).

Married? Visit us at http://www.thepurebed.com/ .

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