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Being too Polite Causes Problems

Posted Jul 03 2008 4:12pm

Name the movie you would like to see or the restaurant you like best,beforeyou ask your partner’s preference. That way you avoid being angry because your partner did not read your mind.

If you want to eat at an Italian restaurant, say so. If you ask your partner first, s/he might suggest a steak house or a Chinese restaurant, without ever knowing your preference. If you speak first, and your partner does not like your suggestion, then s/he can suggest an alternative and you can negotiate.

Your assignment, should you choose to accept it:

Practice stating what you want before you ask for your partner’s preferences. For example, instead of asking your partner “Are you ready to go to bed?” say “I’m ready to go to bed now, are you?”

This is an excerpt fromBeing Happy Together: How to Have a Fabulous Relationship With Your Life Partner in Less Than an Hour a Week, by Laurie Weiss, Ph.D. You can get more informationHERE.

Technorati Tags:Relationships,Separateness,Communication,Relationship Advice

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