Are you a sex addict? Here is what Dr. Aline Zoldbrod, sex therapist, says in our interview
Posted Feb 26 2010 9:18am
In a CNN feature Thursday, they posed a question, "Are you a sex addict." If you answer "yes" to any of the questions listed either by CNN or those by sex therapist Dr. Aline Zoldbrod, then in her words, "You deserve to take a path toward healing."
A Diplomate in Sex Therapy by the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists and a psychologist, Boston's Dr. Zoldbrod has a list that helps one determine whether or not he or she is suffering from sex addiction.
But first, the author of SexSmart: How Your Childhood Shaped Your Sexual Life and What to Do About It, stresses, "You have to remember that if the answer is yes, you can change your life going forward. You do have to take a no-holds barred look at your previous life. You have had to compartmentalize. Most sex addicts have had neglectful or traumatic childhoods. Many did not know that they could ask for love, or a hug, or anything else that they ever wanted. For some, asking meant further deprivation, for others it meant they were punished for asking."
Non-sexual events and one's sexual personality.
"Oftentimes, it is the non-sexual events in your family of origin which form adult sexual personality. And as therapists we need to learn this from our patients."
"Everyone speculates about Tiger Woods. But we do not know what happened in his life that brought him to this place."
Do you worry about sex addiction? Then take " Dr. Z's" quiz.
Are you sex addict?
Do you use sexual activity in a compulsive way, to help you with feelings of depression, anxiety, loneliness or worthlessness?
Is your true sexuality a secret from the people you love?
Do you find yourself caught up in sexual activity when you meant to be doing something else?
Do you use casual sexual encounters the way others would use a drug, to temporarily give you a "high," an escape?
Do you find that you feel much more confidence in your sexual functioning when you are having anonymous or Internet sex, and much more fearful when you want to be sexual with your partner?
Are your sexual activities interfering with your real-life relationships?
Are your sexual relationships unsafe, putting you in danger of sexually transmitted disease or of being raped or hurt?
Are you using compulsive, anonymous sexual encounters because you are too frightened of dating or getting involved in a real relationship?
Have you gotten caught up in looking at Internet pornography at work, even though if you were caught, it might cost you your job?
Are you promising yourself that you will stop this sexual behavior, and then going back on your promise to yourself again and again?
When you are done with your sexual activities, are you shocked at the amount of time you lost?
After your sexual activity, do you feel ashamed, numb, disgusted, frightened, or depressed?
When you think about your sexual activity, do you feel worried but feel hopeless about your ability to stop it?
She says, "If you answered 'yes' to more than one of these questions, and you find yourself doing this on a regular basis, then it is time to start the journey to healing your past and recovery for the future," she said.