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Appreciate the Thought and Tell the Truth — Graciously

Posted Mar 10 2010 11:15am

Create a mutually loving way to communicate when one of you receives a gift that doesn’t work for you.

Have this important conversation before, not after, a gift-giving occasion. The truth is we all make mistakes. It can be very painful to find that a gift you have carefully selected for your partner is not being used or has been passed on to someone else.

In the long run, it’s easier to say gently, “I really appreciate your thoughtfulness, but I won’t be able to use this because the style (color, size) doesn’t really work for me. May I exchange it for something that does work?”

Your assignment, should you choose to accept it:

Tell your partner what you do now when a gift doesn’t work. Talk about how you would feel if your partner said the words I suggested to you.

Decide what you will do in the future when a gift doesn’t work.

This is an excerpt from Being Happy Together: How to Have a Fabulous Relationship With Your Life Partner in Less Than an Hour a Week , by Laurie Weiss, Ph.D.

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