An explanation of cause is not a justification by reason. - C. S. Lewis
There are reasons but no excuses.
Trying to blame everyone and everything for your life and circumstances is a way of avoiding responsibility for taking charge of it. Yes, terrible things happened to you and yes, it explains a lot about where you are today or the wrong turns you have taken or the wrong people you have been with. But that is the only purpose. It is not an excuse for not doing the work now. It is not an excuse for continuing to place blame and act as if someone owes you something. It is not an excuse to whine and pout and feel sorry for yourself. It’s not an excuse to treat other people badly. If your parents wronged you, that is no excuse to wrong your children. If your last relationship wronged you, that is no excuse to wrong your present relationship. Those might be the REASONS you have acted badly, but those reasons do not excuse bad behavior. Stop it and get to the work.
Yes, we need to do the work–the historical work–and it’s clear that other people have wronged us or treated us terribly, but we need to recognize that only we can move beyond that and to do so we have to take responsibility for who we are today.
Even if you have adverse circumstances today…you’re on disability, you don’t have any money, you don’t get child support, you have no education… NO MATTER WHAT IT IS you cannot use it as an excuse for not doing the work you need to be doing or making the changes you need to be making.
Stop hiding behind the excuses and get to the work. Get to the heart of the matter and stop trying to avoid it. You either want it or you don’t. You’ll either do it or you won’t. If you decide the work is too hard or you don’t want to deal with it, that is fine, but know that IT’S A CHOICE and it’s YOUR choice. It’s not something that someone did to you. It’s not that things have been so hard you can’t overcome it. No matter what your circumstances you can overcome it and make a better life. If you choose not to make a better life, own the fact that it’s a choice you’re making and stop blaming everyone and everything for your failure to act.
Getting better involves taking responsibility for what and who you are today and will be in the future. If you don’t want to then just say that and stop wallowing in self-pity and lame excuses.