A person I know lost a person who was in the prime of her life. She described her as a person full of life, always giving to others, happy and healthy. It was inconceivable that this person was just gone.Yes it hurts, and yes it is unfair. Another person I know, in her late 40s, who was an acquaintance was vacationing with her family and was struck down by a heart attack. She had been excited about the trip and the family was thrilled to be taking a family vacation for the first time in years when tragedy struck. It is a horrible and unfair event.
But it is something that happens all the time and should be a lesson to the living.
When I was getting my Grief Recovery (sm) certification, I studied with John James of the Grief Recovery Institute. During the training he had us write a list of what we would do if we had six months to live. If you want to do this exercise, get a pen and paper and spend 15 minutes (no more, no less) writing the list. Then look at your list.See what is important to you and not important.
Now ask yourself: how do you know you DON’T have six months to live?
Is there anything on that list you need to get going on? Get it done.
Are there people you need to communicate to or ask forgiveness from or forgive? Start doing that.
Let the list be your guide as to what you need to do in your life. What is important for you to “get done” and get it done.
When a lovely, vivacious person dies, it is hard to understand. Very hard. And it hurts. A lot.
A Buddist monk once told me that when we die our energy goes out into the universe and becomes part of the universal energy forever. If you die in a good and active state, you send that energy to the universe to live on, forever. You become part of all that is good and just in the universe.
So the lesson from two of my most impressive teachers was two-fold: live like you’re not going to go on forever (because you’re not) and be the energy you want to see in the universe. Live by these principles and you cannot go wrong.