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A decade of freedom

Posted Apr 18 2013 4:06am

Ten years ago today my husband of 20 years announced he didn’t want to be married anymore. I took it hard.

I now call that day “ The Great Awakening .”

It’s amazing how much one can grow in a decade if one is willing to accept what is and not be bitter. I admit it took me a while to see the dissolution of my marriage as a blessing, but it is. I have subsequently met interesting people and traveled without an anchor. I have embraced opportunities I wouldn’t have if I’d still been married. And I’ve learned a lot about myself.

Every negative experience in our life is an opportunity to learn and grow if we approach it that way. But it’s not always easy to get to that perspective if you feel you’ve been wronged. However, letting go of that resentment and victimhood is the first step toward creating an even better life.

I’ve learned that as good as my life seems at the moment, there are even better experiences around the corner if I’m willing to explore them. But when you’re happy with what you have, even knowing some aspects of your life aren’t optimal, it’s hard to pursue new experiences.

I’ve now gone out with over 100 men, most of whom were nice and kind; some of whom were interesting; and a few of them were good matches for me. I would have never met any of them if I were married. I’d never had explored what I wanted my life to be like and who I wanted to share it with. I’d not have traveled as frequently and for as long, meeting new people and making new friends along the way.

Does this mean I don’t want to find my Mr. Great? No. I’d love to find a sweetheart with whom to travel the globe and make a difference in others’ lives. Ten years is a good chunk of time to explore what you want and diligently search for it. I’m clearer now than I was a decade ago, yet still willing to accept what unfolds.

What have you learned about yourself and life since your divorce? Share your lessons.


  Date or Wait_3d-cover Get your copy of Date or Wait: Are You Ready for Mr. Great?


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