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“Whip appeal” pros and cons

Posted Sep 01 2008 7:20pm

A man I dated for a while expressed his attraction to me in an interesting way: “You have whip appeal.”

Huh? I’ve heard of men being “whipped” by their woman, and it is not a thing most men would admit to. In fact, a man’s pals may tease him about being “whipped” if he seems too besotted by his woman.

In my quest to understand this term I learned it is from Babyface’s song titled “Whip Appeal” in which he exclaims, “no one but you has that kind of whip appeal on me.” This sounds like a good thing — at least to me!

I took my inquiry to some young men friends. When I told a gal pal’s 21-year-old son what my guy said, he responded, “Congratulations!” He explained that this is a very good thing. My man was saying he was so attracted to me I had him wrapped around my finger and he was fine with it. Cool!

Another friend’s twenty-something son got a big smile as he explained. “It means a woman is so wonderful the man can’t stop thinking about her and how to make her happy.” Good again!

How do you know you have whip appeal? I’ve learned a man can say things like this that lead you to believe he is totally into you. But you need to pay attention to not only what he says but what he does. This man was masterful at saying the right thing, and when we were together he treated me well. When we were apart he’d text me daily love notes, but did little else to give me what I told him I needed. So while “whip appeal” may have some allure, make sure there is consistently in his application of this concept.

While I don’t want a man I can push around, knowing he is irresistibly drawn to you isn’t bad. Unless, of course, it’s a one-dimensional attraction and then a dealbreaker surfaces in that arena. Your whip appeal will disappear so quickly you get whip lash!

Got a topic on dating after 40 you want Dating Goddess to address? Send your issue to Goddess@DatingGoddess.com.

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