And so my dip into the waters that are ‘Plenty of Fish’ online dating comes to an end…and with one noticable exception (Yes, you! I was a fool to let you slip through my fingers!) it’s been more a case of innumerable plankton. Why would you…?
1. Send me unsolicited photoshopped images of what should remain private (at least until after the first date!)
2 Lie about your height and then not wear heels? Did you really think you were going to get away with that one – if I’m 5’3” then you should be taller than me, yes?
3. Think I would go out with you when you dress like a leprechaun (yes, he really does advertise himself in a leprechaun outfit.)
4. Think I would want spontaneous sex with a fireeater? Or was I wrong about that?
5. Believe you when you say you are a fireman? Another one, really?
6. Think that I will respond to messages that say ‘Oi, how r u?’
7. Think I will be impressed by photos of you sprawled over your motor (or did you borrow it?).
8. Think I will be impressed by photos of you in your footie top, sprawled over another woman and gurning over what’s clearly not your first pint of beer?
Still there were a couple whose courage I salute -
9. The man with one leg ‘don’t worry girls I make up for it in other ways’, who messaged me within 3 minutes of me joining the site.
10. The 74-year-old from Essex in full cowboy outfit (from 10 gallon hat to pistol strategically placed) who still thought he was in with a chance :)