Anal sex is something women do to make their men happy, right? They don’t actually enjoy it, right? Wrong! Lots of women really enjoy anal play, however, there’s a lot of guys who don’t know how to make it safe and comfortable for a woman, so she can’t really enjoy it. Here’s how you can make anal sex something she loves.
The main reason that women don’t enjoy anal sex is that it can hurt and it can hurt bad if it’s not done correctly! One thing that can contribute to pain during anal sex is not having enough lube . Lube is very important during this activity because the anus does not lubricate itself the way a vagina does. Without external lubrication, the anus can become very dry and the delicate tissues can tear and bleed. Don’t be afraid to dump a whole bottle of lube on her butt if you have to – when it comes to this activity, you really can’t use enough lube.
The best lube for anal sex is a water based lube – a silicone lube is thick and can last longer (which is important for prolonged moisture) but it is not as easy to rinse off as water based lube. Search for a good, gentle water based lube that is made in a thicker formula. Never use a desensitizing lube for anal sex! While this may make her more “comfortable” in the beginning, she won’t be aware if the pain becomes too much. This can definitely lead to tears in the anus or bowel that require immediate medical attention. Good water based lube (and plenty of it) is all you need!
Most guys get really excited at the prospect of trying anal sex with their partners and are eager to put their penises in right away. However, unless you’re a really small guy, you may be too big for her if she hasn’t tried anything else. Even with lube, if she’s not accommodated to taking something as large as your penis into her anus, you’re going to have to start smaller and work your way up.
Fingering the anus is a good starting point, since you can use one finger and gradually increase to two or even three fingers once she becomes more comfortable with it. You can also purchase small butt plugs that can be used to get her used to anal stimulation during sex. Even if you’re chomping at the bit to get it on with her backdoor, she’s going to like it a lot better if you don’t bombard her with something huge at first. She’ll also be more receptive to have anal sex more often if it doesn’t hurt!
Women love to know that they’re giving their men pleasure – and they want to hear about it first hand. While she’s having anal sex with you, don’t be too shy to let her know how much you enjoy it. Let it all out – moan, grunt and gasp so she knows that your pleasure is genuine! You can also give her a few words of encouragement as you’re warming her up with a sex toy or your fingers. Let her know how hot her butt is and how naughty and sexy she is for doing this with you. She’ll love hearing how much you’re enjoying it!
A huge reason that women don’t enjoy having anal sex with their partners is that they’re afraid or embarrassed to make a mess. This may keep her from ever having anal sex with you at all – she could be extremely apprehensive about fecal matter coming out during sex and she may think you’ll laugh at her or criticize her for it. Let her know up front that you know it might get dirty – and that it doesn’t bother you in the least. And if it happens – don’t freak out. Have a warm, wet washcloth nearby for clean up and take care of it as soon as you notice. If you can, don’t even mention it to her.
You can also ease her fears about making a mess during anal sex by encouraging her to have a bowel movement first or to do an enema first. Some women even find the enema process pleasurable, and it keeps things clean during sex later.
If she’s not aroused, she’s not going to enjoy anal sex, period. Her anus will be tight and puckered, and it won’t relax enough to allow you to put anything in, including your penis. So before you plan on heading to her backyard, play in the front a little first. Give her oral sex and get her really, really turned on. Lick her clitoris and get her to where she’s begging you to finish her off. Then, proceed to warm her up anally and don’t neglect her clitoris when you get started. With a combination of clitoral, anal and even vaginal or g-spot stimulation, you may end up giving her the best orgasm of her life!
When you’re finished, don’t just roll over and go to sleep, even if you’re tempted to. Instead, make an attempt to have a conversation with her. Help her get cleaned up, or join her in the shower if that’s what she wants to do afterwards. Let her know how much you enjoyed it and how glad you are that she did it. Let her know that you care about her and show her that you don’t think any less of her. Give her a sensual massage or make her a cup of hot tea to help her relax. Show her that she’s important to you and fulfill her emotionally as well. If you make her feel good emotionally after having anal sex, she’ll definitely want to have it again!