Online dating can be a great way to get a lot of dates. But if you are guilty of these online dating don’ts, you need to correct yourself for dating success right now.
I’m not keen on the idea of getting stuck in a “just online” relationship. You know the type of relationship that gets you chatting idly with a girl about stuff, a few hours a day for months or years? Then, before you know it, you’re getting all lovey-dovey every time she sends you an email peppered with heart emoticons.
You’re not having sex but you’re keeping the fantasy that someday, you will get the conﬁdence to ask her out. Do NOT get stuck in an online relationship, and use dating sites to get phone numbers and set up dates. In case a girl gets coy and refuses to meet up, consider it a red ﬂag.
There are many reasons why women start “just online” relationships, and some of these include relieving stress, getting some excitement going while the hubby is sleeping and whatever else. Remember, don’t hold out for a girl who isn’t entertaining the idea of meeting you. Don’t lose sleep over the reason why she doesn’t want to meet up, either.
The problem with instant messenger is she knows where you are at any given point. Obviously to a limit, but she knows when you’re home, when you’re online, when you’re not online, when you’re sleeping, and when you’re out.
Plus, you’re supplicating to her. In other words, you sent her an e-mail and you asked for her number or you might not have even asked for her number yet but she responds back saying, “Hey, let’s instant message. Here’s my IM screen name.”
It’s a test. She’s testing you to see how committed you are with what you want, with your belief. If you give her your IM screen name or you IM her, you just failed that test. You’re probably going to trudge along with a “just online” relationship if you let her get away with controlling how you communicate. Rely on your online dating profile more so than an IM message.
She knows that you’re a wuss and she knows that she owns you. That’s something you definitely don’t want to do. At that point, you’re way too available so you want to avoid this at all costs. If she e-mails you asking for you to chat on instant messenger, ignore it. Let me say that again—ignore it! Act as if she didn’t say anything like that.
There’s another concept associated with online dating that says “Act, Don’t React”. You never want to react to what she says, you just want to act. Just keep going forward. Make believe she didn’t say anything at all and just ask her for her phone number. You could say something like “Hey, Mrs. A. Listen, I’m just way too busy to instant message.
Let’s talk on the phone. What’s your number?” Did you see how simple that was? It’s three phrases. It doesn’t have to be more complicated than that. What you’re doing is not giving her a choice. You’re telling her that instant messenger is not going to work, you want to talk on the phone, “What’s your number?” What can she do? She can either respond with her number or not.
I found out early on that the women who go to online dating sites receive three types of emails. Number one, they get a long email containing a novel about a guy’s sob story, a broken heart, a yearning for a woman who understands him etc. Number two, they get confessions of love from total strangers (basically, guys that have seen these women’s proﬁle and have decided that they’re in love). And number three, email from some old men regarding money.