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10 Reasons Why Dating a Gorilla is a Bad Idea

Posted Jul 28 2009 10:29pm 1 Comment

1. He doesn’t know his strength. Your playful wrestling match is about to turn ugly.

2. A hairy gorilla. I mean, really.

3. Chances are high that he will be too much like your ex. You don’t need to relive that whole scenario.

4. Undoubtedly, a bed hog.

5. When you look in his eyes it might seem like you have a lot in common, but he’ll never understand your need for handbags, pedicures, and happy hours.

6. His chest pounding and roaring will be a turn on at times. Doesn‘t everyone like a man in charge? Just beware. Sometimes the bossiness gets old.

7. You’ll hate holding hands. All that walking around on his fists means he’s got crazy calluses. I won’t even get started on his fingernails.

8. Your gorilla boyfriend will be a loner.

9. He rarely smiles. The only way to know a gorilla is happy is when he hands you a piece of grass.

10. When you ask questions he’ll respond with a “ipfh.” Then, you’ll be all like, “what?” And then again he’ll say, “ulf.” In other words, he’s a mumbler.

Tired of only dating gorillas when you know there is a teddy bear out there who you will just adore? Try the Dating Tales online dating profile writing service and have your online profile professionally written. Our clients are finding more people to date on sites such as Match.com and Yahoo! Personals than ever before.

Creative Commons Image Credit: Kjunstorm


Comments (1)
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It seems a lot of people join crappy online dating sites, why join a dating site that is not well established! Free dating sites don't cut it for me, there are some ok free dating sites, but if really want to find love you need to go to a well established site with many active users. Join online dating sites that are well established! Like Match, DatingDirect and MatchAffinity, this way you are getting a large userbase (many active users) and you are getting what you paid for!
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