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Written by Tera on October 1, 2012 – -
by Shana James
Do you ever wonder whether your desires are too wild or weird, or whether others will want to take part in creating what you want?
Your desires can become your reality! And it doesn’t have to be a lot of work for you!
It happened for me in a beautiful way for my birthday a few years back. It was one of the most amazing celebrations I’ve ever experienced. I hardly did anything to make it happen. I did what I love to do, and my friends took care of the rest! Here’s how I started:
I started by spending an hour considering how I most wanted to be celebrated. I let my mind go wild and allowed every thought. Nothing too much or too big. I wrote it all down and shared it with my husband and friends.
When I looked ahead to the upcoming year, what I wanted most was to give birth to a healthy child. As I imagined giving birth I my home, filled with people I love.
Women were in the kitchen making tea and compresses. Men were sitting outside around a fire pit in our yard, holding sacred space.
But we didn’t own a fire pit. So I Googled “fire pits” on the internet. I found one I loved and pasted the link into my birthday vision. I noted that my friends could celebrate me by contributing to this beautiful copper fire pit.
* It is now in our yard, between the vegetable beds and the apple tree. One desire became reality – simply by discovering what I wanted and asking for it! *
A second part of my vision was to have more fun in the upcoming year. Watching my friends dance, sing, play music and read poetry lights me up. And, though I find it somewhat terrifying, I have a passion for writing and performing erotic poetry. I envisioned creating a stage for my friends and myself to step into our passions.
At the party we had hours of inspiring, sexy, hilarious performances. Friends read poems that opened my heart and made me cry. I found the courage to read an Erotic poem I wrote!
It was a lot to receive! But friends told me that creating and giving in this way allowed them to step into deeper, more creative parts of themselves.
* Another desire became reality –by discovering what I wanted, asking for it and being willing to receive! *
A third vision I had for my birthday was that there would be dressing up and costume changes. A few days before my birthday, I dropped my mother-in-law and husband off at a wedding rehearsal and went to do an “errand.” I had an hour to try on corsets and fun outfits before I was due back at the wedding dinner!
I ended up buying a sexy corset and a black and silver cowgirl dress — fully outfitted with hat, lasso and skull lanyard. What? I felt a bit ridiculous buying a cowgirl dress but I knew I had the perfect pair of stiletto boots to wear with it, AND I knew my friends would not only accept me, but love me in it!
* Everyone wore fun clothes and…Another desire became a reality –by discovering what I wanted, asking for it and playing in a way that made me happy. *
One last vision I had was to be appreciated and acknowledged by my friends! It’s not always easy, at the end of a year, to see a full picture of what we’ve accomplished or how we’ve impacted others.
I knew that a few peoples’ reflections would fill my heart. I received a profound circle of acknowledgment. I felt so deeply seen and loved that I couldn’t deny the impact I have on people.
* This desire became a reality that was beyond my wildest dreams! *
Knowing what you want isn’t always easy. Neither is asking for it. Receiving it is a whole other ball of wax! If any of these aren’t comfortable for you, or you could use some help, check out The Art of Asking For What You Want. Classes begin October 15th.
Shana James is a dating and relationship coach, co-founder of the Authentic Woman Experience, and senior Course Leader for Authentic World. She helps women and men create phenomenal romantic relationships, lives they love, and real sister- and brotherhood…without compromising themselves.
Over the past ten years Shana has coached and mentored hundreds of people from around the world. Even therapists and long-time coaches credit her with helping them move through their blocks to finding and sustaining love. Shana co-created the Authentic Woman Experience workshop series to serve women who are dissatisfied, settling or feeling resigned about love. In these teleseminars and live events, women learn to create the loving partnerships they deeply desire. Women in relationship learn to keep it deep, connected and passionate for the long-term.
Shana has a masters degree in Psychology, along with hundreds of hours of coaching and course leadership training. She lives with her husband and their baby in the SF Bay Area.