Health knowledge made personal
Join this community!
› Share page:
Go
Search posts:

Losing Myself, Finding Myself

Posted Jun 16 2013 3:04am

Isn’t it so crazy that I’d have to lose myself in order to find myself? I mean, I was on a journey where I thought I knew exactly who I was and what I wanted and what I was going to do to get there.

I had dreams and goals – and I had accomplished SO much.

(such as):

 

  • losing over 100 pounds (around 150, to be exact)
  • finding my path to high raw/sometimes 100% raw foodism
  • practicing an hour of yoga every. single. morning.
  • and so much more….

 

What happened? It seemed like I was on such a solid foundation, like nothing – or no one – could stop me, like I could reach the moon and the stars in one stretch.

And then, boom, I drifted away from it all.

I gradually gained about 40 pounds after drifting away from high raw foodism and eventually giving up yoga all together.

Why?

Because a man came in to my life, a man who wasn’t “in to” raw foods, yoga, or maintaining weight and health.

So, little by little, I drifted until Raw Juice Girl was lost. She was dormant. She was so sad. And miserable. She thought she had died.

Her body felt awful, fat, stiff, stagnant. Her heart ached for raw foods and juices. Her muscles yearned for yoga. Her soul needed inspiration. She craved peace. But all she got was… anything but peace.

The man who had said all the right things and smiled one time too many wasn’t what her life craved. His puzzle piece didn’t match her scene at all.

Gosh, I guess I just woke up one day and realized – with amazing clarity – that I was going to die fat, unhealthy, and unhappy in that situation.

I also realized I didn’t have to.

And that’s when I made the decision to move to Texas .

There was so many times I thought of giving up. I almost deleted this whole website more than once. But there was something deep inside begging me not to. Something that knew this site was meant to exist, to encourage and inspire others who search for hope in the wee hours of the morning like I once did.

No, I couldn’t delete it. But I felt so unworthy to keep it alive.

You know, life really is a dance. We can sit in a dark corner always desiring to be out on that floor participating in the action – or we can get up, leave that dark corner behind, and dance all our fears away.

I’m doing that now.

Words can’t express how thrilled I am to be in Texas. This state hugs me, grounds me, welcomed me with open arms. I belong here. I love it.

And besides the community I have found, I have found myself. Once again I am hearing that voice to juice fast. I will answer soon. My old juicer broke and I’m on a tight budget – but I have been reading reviews and I have found one I feel confidant will work great while I save for the more expensive one I dream of.

I am also easing back in to yoga. I am becoming Raw Juice Girl all over again. She’s being resurrected and she’s emerging full-force, stronger this time, wiser, more deeply rooted than ever before.

It’s a beautiful thing.

Butterflies are having a party in my stomach and my heart is swelled with joy and peace.

Life is good, I am so blessed.

Maybe I shouldn’t publish this at nearly 2 a.m. but it’s what is on my heart. And one thing I have learned over the years, is that I always held back way too much. It’s time to put it all out there. And share all of me. I’d be so honored if you’d stick around….

On left is me (about 300 pounds or so, not even my biggest) before losing about 150 pounds and after on the right at around 145 – 150 pounds, a size 10. I was SO proud.

beforeafter150 pounds

See more before and after photos here .

And this is me now (last Saturday) … after gaining 40-ish pounds. This was at the Blueberry Festival and as I walked down a side street, I saw this sign. “Shelly” is my nick-name so I had to have my photo taken next to this sign. lol

IMG_4171

I’m ashamed that I lost myself and allowed this to happen. Yes, I have still technically kept off a little over 100 pounds all these years – but I allowed 40 to creep back on.

Sigh.

But what’s done is done and I’m super excited for fresh opportunities and new beginnings. I’ve found myself again and everything is going to be alright.

I hope old readers join me once again and new readers tag along as I dive back in to yoga, a diet of mostly raw vegetables, berries, some nuts and seeds as well as a lot of fresh, raw juices and smoothies.

Read about a . That isn’t the only 30-day juice fast I’ve ever done – or the longest. I definitely plan on doing more juice fasting and documenting it here. I will share my juicing journey with you.

I’m currently trying to decide exactly where I’ll end up in this whole process. Although I do plan to incorporate a TON of vegetarian/vegan meals in to this plan of mine, I find it too difficult to give up local honey and farm fresh eggs to live a 100% vegan lifestyle. I can even give up all meat – but honey and eggs is always, always the deal-breaker for me. What about you?

Help me watch this fat melt away in a healthy way. Are you on a weight loss journey as well? Are you tired of feeling stagnant and tired all of the time? Let’s do this together!

Don’t sit in the dark corner watching and wishing – come out and join me. Here, take my hand. You’ll have a blast! The party’s just getting started!

P.S. I’m also back in the giveaway business . Have you entered yet? There are lots of ways to enter (if you want the different options) – but only ONE required entry ! Woo hoo!!!

Post a comment
Write a comment:

Related Searches