By: Doreen MartinBalance and motherhood is a loaded topic for me and hits me in the core of my being. I have been a mother for 21 years. I am 49 years young and have two children and an amazing Husband. It wasn’t until about 5 years ago that I discovered I was supposed to balance being a wife, mother and businesswoman. I thought I was expected to do it all and still be on top of my game in every area. It wasn’t until I found myself totally stressed out, taking Xanax for anxiety, Tylenol pm to sleep and wine to relax that I realized I was killing myself. The pain was too much. I needed to get help and I did. I hired a life coach and went on a RAW Food detox for 14 days- the woman who went on that journey and came out the other side is the one who has a few words to say now.
What I realized was that I had set up the system in my house as the “go to person”, the “make it happen person” because it was fulfilling a need inside of me. I needed to be needed. It actually gave me a sense of security to have everyone in the family need me. I would often complain that I was the person having to do everything and I would get mad at my family when they wouldn’t participate in life. I think that for me, living a life out of balance was a form of self-sabotage. Well, as Dr. Phil says, you teach people how to treat you. And I had taught those around me that I was the one calling the shots and I was in control. I could go on for days about how controlling I was and how that was all rooted in fear and the fear was the underlying result of the anxiety. I thank God today that I no longer have the need to control things and others around me. That I trust in the ONE that has my future in HIS hands. After working with my life coach for over a year I managed to work through my emotional fear of abandonment and my self-worth is no longer tied up in performance. It wasn’t an overnight change, it was a process.
As I look at my life now I am able to set healthy boundaries as to what I can take on and accomplish and what I get to say NO to. And when I say no I don’t feel guilty. I choose to honor myself by making sure I don’t allow my needs to be put on the bottom of the list. I am a much more loving and supportive human being to my family and others. Balance only happens when we can look at ourselves honestly and assess what is really important in life. We must figure out why we are choosing to live a life out of balance and be willing to make the necessary changes to become healthier, happier and more balanced women.
1. Love yourself first so you can love others.
2. Know when to say no and don’t allow yourself to feel guilty.
3. Take time for prayer and journaling.
4. Divide family responsibilities up for everyone to participate in.
5. Be patient with yourself– change is a process and life is a journey to be enjoyed.
If Doreen’s story rings true to you, and you feel exhausted from the battle to get the love, balance, and support you need, maybe you should head on over to our university course for the over-worked, under-rested off-balanced woman’s guide to “Getting Love and Support“!!! This course will help reveal to you what mental blocks prevent you from having your needs met, and to see that the universe is overflowing with love and resources to give you!
What steps have you taken to create balance in your life? Have you reached a tipping point that has changed your perspective? Share with us!
I’m a Certified Raw Food Health Coach. I am also certified in Nutritional Blood Analysis (Blood Microscopy). My purpose is to help others discover all the wonderful benefits of adding Raw Food to their Life. I’m not here to preach to you and get you to convert to becoming a raw foodist but I do believe in eating as healthy as possible. My major focus is on alkalizing and energizing the body with the healthiest foods possible. Again, it just so happens that these are raw foods! I personally live a High Raw Lifestyle, which means I eat raw food 90% of the time. My food is not heated over 110 degrees. Raw food helps your body reach an alkalized state—where healing, weight loss, and detoxification occur.
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I have just recently had the opportunity to get to know Doreen and experience a spring detox for the first time in my life. This whole experience has been life changing. And I can’t wait to see what my future with Doreen as a coach will bring.