This post is a bit more upbeat than the last - no curse words, cranky complaining, cynicism or sarcasm. Writing down your thoughts is, in itself, therapeutic. But when you post it on the web and lots of people read it and give you all kinds of thoughtful feedback, well, that’s free therapy. I’ve learned a lot. THANK YOU!!!
Since it’s impractical for me to drop everything right now and run off to an Ashram to find myself, I had to see how I might be able to conduct the search locally. How do I do this, in my “spare” time? What spare time? How do I find solitude in New York City for some good self-awareness? And when? This has been an ongoing exploration.
I’ve also kind of yearned for a return of that ‘honeymoon’ excitement that I felt when first going ‘raw’. Raw and I have been married (though we have a pretty open relationship) for over four years now. Isn’t four years the point at which marriages are said to go stale? If you make it beyond four years, you’re solid, but it’s also a pretty common time to break apart? Am I making this up?
Meanwhile, I’ve been noticing this pattern more and more whereby things happen such as the following: pick a book randomly off the shelf without thinking too much about it, open it to any page with genuine curiosity, gaze anywhere your eyes land on that page, and you might just find yourself reading something eerily relevant. Or maybe you’re not sure how it’s relevant, but it makes you think, inspires you to do something, or at least causes one of those “note to self” moments. Or maybe none of it’s clear at all, but you (knowingly or not) end up tucking something away from it nevertheless. I feel like this happens when you’re not looking for it, whatever it is. It just has a way of finding you. As long as you’re open. Or maybe this is always happening, but you have to be clear minded enough to notice it, and take it for what it is: guidance.