My business partner, Mysti Reutlinger, recently posted that things are quiet around here because she and I both are going through life-changing transitions, in order to take advantage of (numerous) opportunities and relocation .
When I felt drawn to leave the state I’ve lived the majority of my life in (which was Missouri), I knew from deep within that it was the right step to take. My flesh was a little – okay, maybe a lot – frightened by the idea of moving so many hours away, but I also felt a sureness that everything was going to be okay and that I needed to do this.
And I had a LOT of support, encouragement, and most importantly, prayer, from some very special family and friends.
The first step toward completely changing my life, uprooting and relocating to Texas included…
This was the most difficult aspect of this entire transition. I recently shared on Facebook that I’m facing a divorce . It took a little while to make up my mind to go for it.
As someone who has spent the majority of my life single (as in really single, no dating at all for very long stretches – until I met my husband, I hadn’t dated for 10 years!), I was fearful of giving up that constant companionship that had formed and I dreaded facing life as a single gal again.
I’m only human and I had a few questions and doubts about leaving:
How can I endure a (second) failed marriage?
What is wrong with me?
How is another marriage biting the dust?
Will I even like Texas?
What will it be like there?
Will I feel at home in Texas?
What if I hate it?
But I knew in my heart I couldn’t let fear stand in my way. Fear is big, but my goals and dreams are FAR bigger! Texas was calling me and I had to answer that call. So I started making preparations.
Sadly, I had ZERO funds to make my move. My husband wasn’t a saver (“When I die, it isn’t going with me!” he’d say) and I didn’t feel as if I could tell him I was leaving. So my plan of action was to open a (secret) savings account.
When I earned money from writing gigs or reprint sales, etc., and a check would come, I’d make a beeline for the bank and deposit it. It was hard keeping it to myself and not sharing it with my husband because each sale makes me SO excited and I always want to shout out something like, “I made another sale!” or “I got paid for another gig!” but I knew in order to be successful with my plan, I had to keep quiet – if I hadn’t kept it to myself, there wouldn’t have been any money left to save. The silence and withholding was extremely difficult for me but after a while, it became easier and easier.
It REALLY helped that I had support from family as well as some online friends (you know who you are!). They were my rocks and I love them so much!
And, no, I didn’t outright lie to my husband. What I did was make smart decisions. I would “cover up” the trip to the bank by a trip to the grocery store, etc. I know, in essence, that is the same as lying – but I had to do what I had to do in order to break free from this relationship.
Note: If you’re in a difficult and unhealthy situation, start making secret plans. Even if you’re horrible at keeping secrets, you can do this!
Thankfully, family was coming through (my neck of the woods in Missouri) on their (own) move to Texas and they offered to bring me with them. I jumped at the chance and began preparing even faster.
Moving day came and since I knew my jeep wouldn’t make the trip, we decided to haul it. Thank God for family support!
My mom actually drove the U-haul truck you see in the picture with my jeep on the trailer. I drove a relative’s truck and pulled a trailer too. (For that relative’s privacy, I decided not to show a picture of their vehicle.)
It took close to 12 hours total but that included a few stops. They were very short stops – to the point and back on the road. We only stopped once to eat.
Driving that far by myself in one day without anyone to take turns with was exhausting but it was also very freeing. The further away I got, the lighter my heart felt. I had left a lot behind me – but there was even more awaiting me.
Now that I’m in Texas, I feel like a million pounds have been lifted off my shoulders, like I am exactly where I’m supposed to be, and like fantabulous things are on the horizon.
And chivalry is alive and THRIVES in Texas, y’all! I’ve never had the door held open for me so many times in my ENTIRE life. Men of ALL ages hold the door open for gals around here – makes me truly feel like a LADY!
While I lost a marriage, I have found myself. I’m on a new path, with a fresh start.
I am SO glad I let go of the past and took that big leaping chance to come to Texas. I feel SO at peace here. I feel awesome!
Stay tuned…. this amazing journey is just beginning.
Although I always knew that God is a miracle-working God and that He has shown me (countless) times over the years just how much He is capable of doing for His children, I stand amazed one more time. Thank you, Lord.